Chris Wilson Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Tools Explained. DRILL PRESS : A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL : Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t' DROP SAW : A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. PLIERS : Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. BELT SANDER : An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW : One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. MOLE-GRIPS : Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH : Used almost entirely for lighting on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.. TABLE SAW : A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK : Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. BAND SAW : A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST : A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER : A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. PRY BAR : A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part. HOSE CUTTER : A tool used to make hoses too short. HAMMER : Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. UTILITY KNIFE : Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabella Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Orders wrong, Phillips Screwdriver then Mole Grips Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Reviews Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markssupra Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 Brilliant ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 Depressingly can relate to nearly all of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 I well recall an old friend who was visibly disturbed watching me hacksaw off a piece of sheet steel in the vice. I just knew he was about to say something but was biting his tongue so I asked hom if I was doing it wrong. He told me I was forcing the cut and should allow the blade to do the work and be less aggressive, that's why the cut was wandering off. I finished and held a piece of metal with a far from 90 degree cut in my hand looking forelorn. He took the hacksaw and first straightened up my remaining piece of steel the proceeded to cut a perfect off cut that looked like it had been done in a shear. Humbled I let him show me how to file the piece properly. He taught me a lot. But one day he was telling me he had to take his dog to the vet to have its nails trimmed at it was savage when it saw the clippers and wouldn't let him or his wife near him then. He complained how much it cost every time and how the vet asked him to leave the consulting room as the dog was less agitated then. He wondered what went on behind closed doors but said the dog couldn't be heard barking or whining. I thought it's time to reciprocate and show him how something should be done... So he brought his dog around, a collie that was indeed a bit hyper. I got an old bath towel, tied the dog to a post, got the towel wrapped firmly over its head, got him to hold the dog on the ground, and did all four feet in about 2 minutes with no issues. He later went on to do the same himself with his wife assisting and saved a load of hassle and dosh. We all have our little talents or know how to address what to others might be a problem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 Depressingly can relate to nearly all of those. I won't mention some of things I found my Bridgeport universal milling machine could do (but shouldn't), that weren't on the YouTube videos.... "Speed, feed and correct tooling, cooling and cutting fluid" are now something I ask myself before even starting The dead cutting tool box was impressively full back when I first got it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suprakeith Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 I won't mention some of things I found my Bridgeport universal milling machine could do (but shouldn't), that weren't on the YouTube videos.... "Speed, feed and correct tooling, cooling and cutting fluid" are now something I ask myself before even starting The dead cutting tool box was impressively full back when I first got it! You can’t beat an old Bridgeport milling machine, have 3 at work :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnk Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 i Daren't say what i've done on a Bridgeport CNC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 i Daren't say what i've done on a Bridgeport CNC They only do what you punch in to the key pad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 You can’t beat an old Bridgeport milling machine, have 3 at work :-) Yep, it's amazing what someone who knows what they are doing can create on one. (I am not one of those elevated souls... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnk Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 They only do what you punch in to the key pad Ah well you see this wasn't using a program Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 Now what is it they say a bad workman blames? To be truthful there's not a tool in my arsenal I haven't cussed at a few times! Some just don't want to come out of their box these days, such is their fear. Yes I am talking about you, the metric calipers, damned foreigners with their funny system. Metric indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnk Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 Now what is it they say a bad workman blames? To be truthful there's not a tool in my arsenal I haven't cussed at a few times! Some just don't want to come out of their box these days, such is their fear. Yes I am talking about you, the metric calipers, damned foreigners with their funny system. Metric indeed. I love our imperial system but not when it comes to threads, ffs you couldn't make it more complex if you tried lol Thank god for the Zeus book Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 Whitworth is one of the best thread forms ever invented for soft materials, there are plenty of odd ball metric threads around Renault used to like M7 in transmissions, I must be the only person in the UK with an M7 Helicoil kit. My engineering merchant reckoned they had never ever sold one until I came along and it was special order only. Only 24 out of 25 inserts left to use... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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