Frank Bullitt Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 (edited) Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies. Don’t spend more than you can earn and reliable strategies of adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault if you did. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was in fact hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, - by his parents, Truth & Trust, - by his wife, Discretion, - by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; - I Know My Rights! - I Want It Now! - Someone Else Is To Blame! - I’m A Victim! - Pay Me for Doing Nothing! Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he had passed. Edited March 25, 2019 by Frank Bullitt Spelling. (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axl Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 True story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 (edited) He's been getting rarer than hens teeth for a long time, whilst his step brothers have become common as the $h!t they are. Edited March 16, 2019 by David P (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nigelboyne Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 How very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 I like it and I may be found guilty of plagiarising it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.