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Nursery Rhymes


tbourner

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Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and every time that Mary walked

the boys could see her Thighs

Mary had another skirt

twas split right up the front

...but she didn't wear that one very often

 

Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

between two chunks of bread.

 

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,

What have you got there?

Said the Pieman unto Simon,

Pies, you dickhead.

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "F*** him,

He's only an egg.

 

Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up it's ass

and turned it's wool to nylon

 

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.

kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

 

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill

And now there's little Franky.

 

Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over

Rover took over,

And gave her a bone of his own.

 

Little Boy Blew.

Hey. He needed the money.

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:clap: :lol: my two favourite ones:

 

Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and every time that Mary walked

the boys could see her Thighs

Mary had another skirt

twas split right up the front

...but she didn't wear that one very often

 

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,

What have you got there?

Said the Pieman unto Simon,

Pies, you dickhead.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "F*** him,

He's only an egg.

Why is Humpty always potrayed as an egg? It doesn't say anything about him being an egg in the nursery rhyme. :confused:
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Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over

Rover took over,

And gave her a bone of his own.

 

My all-time favourite, passed from generation to generation.

 

In honour of this thread, I have composed the following ditty:

 

Mary had a little lamb

Much more than just a pet

And photos of it sh*gging her

Are on the internet.

 

 

 

Yours childishly

 

Cliff

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