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(online dating) chat up lines


Hitbox Junkie

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Never done dating sites myself, but can see the positives. If for instance you are in a job with anti social hours, or that demands so much from you that you are potentially never off the clock. If however you are recently out of a relationship and are looking to find someone new, in my opinion it's not the way to do it, if it was a bad relationship you are better off going to bars and clubs and just talking to people, go out and enjoy yourself and women will come to you... If you just want a quick shag and aren't particularly confident in a social situation I have heard tinder is a gash fest so go for that.

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But if you really want an opener, I would suggest chat up lines .. anything cheesy just cries desperate.

 

Go with a neg.

 

Example her profile picture is her and a couple of mates doing a stupid Selfie pose. 2 brunnetes and a blonde ( you know she is the blonde one because of her other pictures, you did check them right?)

 

"Hey, your profile popped up on my news feed, haven't had time to read it properly unfortunately I'm just off out, but just had to send a quick message because you look like you enjoy a good laugh and having fun! Would like a chance to chat sometime! P.s what's the deal with the blonde doing a duckface" ..

(Change duckface for anything noticeable at all.. even if there is nothing! E.g. "why does the blonde still have a Bob haircut doesnt she know its 2016?" Etc.

 

Don't be rude just be negative. Women want to value your opinion, save the compliments for later.

 

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But if you really want an opener, I would suggest chat up lines .. anything cheesy just cries desperate.

 

Go with a neg.

 

Example her profile picture is her and a couple of mates doing a stupid Selfie pose. 2 brunnetes and a blonde ( you know she is the blonde one because of her other pictures, you did check them right?)

 

"Hey, your profile popped up on my news feed, haven't had time to read it properly unfortunately I'm just off out, but just had to send a quick message because you look like you enjoy a good laugh and having fun! Would like a chance to chat sometime! P.s what's the deal with the blonde doing a duckface" ..

(Change duckface for anything noticeable at all.. even if there is nothing! E.g. "why does the blonde still have a Bob haircut doesnt she know its 2016?" Etc.

 

Don't be rude just be negative. Women want to value your opinion, save the compliments for later.

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Erm, they don't mean that you can't say Hi or Hello, but there is an expectation for slightly more effort because guys tend to scatter gun approach, i.e. just ping a 2 letter message to every girl. Girls don't generally like that kinda thing. if you were in a bar and you walked up to someone and said "Hi" and then just stood there, would that be acceptable? hahahaa.

 

That said, personally I don't think it's any major drama, as not everyone replies and therefore it's a waste of time typing messages that may not even get a response. If every message was 2 letters long it wouldn't be ideal however :D

 

Oh, I thought there was some offence taken to saying hi or hello as it must be common. I did fully expect there to be some substance afterwards, not just spread bet with two words...lol.

 

My favourite chat up line doesn't work on line anyway as you need to have a drink in your hand. "Hey, hold my pint, I am off for a shit!!" is pretty much a dead cert.

 

H.

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Interesting replies and I'm only using it as another avenue when I am not out on the pull I can sit and have a nose. I am just on there to have a look for fun in-between the supra being completely stripped and rebuilt :D not looking for a girl friend as of yet but never know what happens.

Women wise I'm not too picky I just go for older and what attracts me. im not aposed to a girlfriend but they cost far more money that a few dates now and then and a booty call. I need the cash towards the supra for now :D

 

Rosie your advice is great already do this :).

 

Yes Havard it seems hello or hi is taken as an offence haha, if they reply its usually try harder.

I've already had psychos on there but they are a good lay usually so I am told?

 

Yes a numbers game but a generic message might be a good option.

 

Masterfett I shall try this negative approach too.

 

Thats awesome Hogmaw :)

 

Ashloys :rlol::rlol: very good :)

 

Id like to note I am having success on there before posting this couple lined up for drinks and fun stuff over the weekend but wanted other peoples opinions and to see who else has done anything similar.

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Interesting replies and I'm only using it as another avenue when I am not out on the pull I can sit and have a nose. I am just on there to have a look for fun in-between the supra being completely stripped and rebuilt :D not looking for a girl friend as of yet but never know what happens.

Women wise I'm not too picky I just go for older and what attracts me. im not aposed to a girlfriend but they cost far more money that a few dates now and then and a booty call. I need the cash towards the supra for now :D

 

The good thing about POF is you have 2 areas where you can very clearly state "just for fun" "no commitment" type stuff, so if that isn't what someone is after they can just stroll on by.

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Start off with the following ;)

 

Hey do you like lego?

 

If she answers yes.

 

Would you like to help me build a relationship?

 

What if it's no :p but I'm. Not looking for relationship yet haha but that could change for the right women ;) maybe one with a working supra :rlol: guess I'm dreaming for that one :)

 

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Statistically there's at least a 5% chance the OP is a Muslim, and they often shop in bulk :)

 

Nope Im not a Muslim but I am bulky :)

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You're entirely missing my point!! And they say that it's the girls that make dating complicated :rlol:

 

They all drop the conversation when you say your looking for a shag. And I'm honest with them I'm not into one nighters can go clubbing to find that. But I do tell them I'm not looking for relationship but you never know what the future holds.

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They all drop the conversation when you say your looking for a shag. And I'm honest with them I'm not into one nighters can go clubbing to find that. But I do tell them I'm not looking for relationship but you never know what the future holds.

 

Yeah a quickie in the woods! :innocent:

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Some amusing items I've read on the interwebz about this topic for a bit of fun, lol!.

 

What it really means:

 

40-ish = 49

Adventurous = Slept with everyone

Average looking = Ugly, can only be loved by mummy

Beautiful = Pathological liar, airhead

Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure = On medication

Free Spirit = Junkie

Friendship first = Former very “friendly” person

Fun = Annoying

New Age = Body hair in the wrong places

Open Minded = Desperate

Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate = Sloppy Drunk

Voluptuous = Very Fat

Large Frame = Hugely Fat

Needs soul mate = Stalker

 

The Best and Worst Chat Up Lines and Put Downs

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore"

 

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Well, I guess you really don't belong in the men's toilets anyway.

 

Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

 

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but can still make your Bedrock

 

Wow! You must be a parking ticket cuz you've got" Fine! Fine!! Fine!" written all over you!

 

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE : I must've been given your share.

 

Wow, your legs must be really tired because you have been running through my mind all night!

 

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Woman: Yeah?! Well, if I were to rearrange the alphabet I would put F and U together.

Get my point?!

 

Man: "Would you like to dance"?

Woman: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you"

Man:I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants".

 

He: Would you like to dance?

She: Not with you.

He: Oh, come on, lower your standards a little. I did.

 

Do you believe in love at first sight? or do you think i should walk past again?

 

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

 

Do you have plans for the rest of your life?

 

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

 

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

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  • 3 months later...

Quick tinder hints:

 

Only face photos = fat

Only one angle of photos = fat

"Bubbly" = fat

"Curvy" = fat and lazy

"I like spending time with friends and family" = no hobbies

"Feminist" = fat and has a hair colour from a Dulux catalogue

Age 18-25 and attractive = single mum and/or serial killer

25+ and looking fit but a bit high mileage = can't lock down any man I actually like, about to hit the wall and need a sucker to pay for a child that may or may not be yours.

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