rant Might have lost my job

[Max5437]

Well following on from this thread http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?328450-Are-relationships-worth-the-hassle in which i was amazed at the support i thought I could finally get on with my life after a horrible relationship and a viscous break up.

 

Well i was wrong and she was determined to ruin my life just that little bit more by ringing me Tuesday morning of a unknown number so i could "hear it from her" that she has been seeing someone and how happy he was making her. so basically she rung me to rub my face in the fact she was with someone new but i did my best to be civil and told her i wished her all the best but could she just not rub my face in it anymore and could they refrain from coming into my work (considering she knew where i worked as we met on our shifts together) and she initially said she wouldn't come in and that was the end of it.

 

well a little bit later i received a call again and i heard her out as she insisted she wanted to give us both closure, she told me how she didn't mean to hurt me and i had a go at her telling her what a sadistic bitch she was and then she said she can go into my work (Tesco) whenever she likes with whoever she likes. so me trying to be an adult said i was fed up of this shit and would prefer to see her in person and deal with this finally once and for all. she got nasty and told me how i wasn't worth a minute of her time let alone and to fuck myself and she hated me and was going to make my life hell. well i called her back, calmed her down and said i was happy she had someone who finally made her as happy as i had always tried to make her and she said thanks, i told her that i wasn't dealing with it too well and i just couldn't cope with her rubbing my face in it while i was working

 

little side note- Yes it was my decision for us to split up but at the same time it was a decision i have struggled with and still am struggling with as I am a very withdrawn person and she is literally the only person i have ever been close too, she knew everything about me and we had so many things planned. i have accepted i have severe attachment issues and this is something i am trying to work on but cant see it changing any time soon, i keep everything i possibly can, every toy from childhood ect.. everything. plus have a horrifically good memory which has been such a curse!

 

well no prizes for guessing what happened. she came into my work with her new boyfriend and i snapped, I haven't been coping with my messed up head replaying everything and of course everything at work reminded me of her anyways, her favorite foods, things i knew she would like, just everything in that place was making this harder.

 

She came up to me while i was collecting baskets and i just screamed at her about how she could be so disrespectful and horrible, i cant even remember what i said its all just a blur but i remember calling her every name under the sun and then of course the new boyfriend started to square uo to me, security stepped in the middle and sent them down the other end of the store and i got on with my job, shaking with rage but did get back to work, while she was screaming in tears down the other end of the store. well i called her over and told her unless she left me alone i would tell the new guy everything, her drug history, her being responsible for him being put in hospital as she used him to make an ex jealous. and she screamed out saying i was

pathetic making threats i could never follow through on.

at this point her new boyfriend got right in my face and had the head of security holding us apart as i snapped and would have beaten the crap out of him given the chance for the disrespect. I put in months of hard work, took abuse and did everything to help this girl sort her life out and now she was better he was getting this girl with 1% of the problems, to put it bluntly fuck him!

 

following this screamed more profanities and then security escorted them out the store and refused them entry again!

 

well of course this has put my job in a perilous position and I'm not sure what i can possibly do? i went in yesterday, apologised to management and to those involved and tried to explain what happened, but Tesco refuse to listen till they review the footage in which i look awful as it will not show what she said to me and i reacted in a provocative physical manner. That is honestly the second time in my entire life that i have lost my temper but i just snapped.

 

on a side note i messaged the new boyfriends sister who also works at Tesco telling her exactly what her brother was getting himself in for and all she said was its done the opposite because the brother now thinks he is going to "save" her from this life and the girl her is dating is now perfect - well he has a point, after me spending all this time trying to help her out she is no were near as damaged as she was when we first got together.

also messaged her parents so they were aware of her addictions and passed on my concerns but did both these messages in such a nice manner that it was clear i thought that i was just trying to look out for both the new boyfriend (who i don't have a problem with) and for her in the message to her parents.

 

well in summary

I might have lost my job

and for some absolutely ridiculous reason I still miss all the good times and all the relationship things, having someone want to talk to me, going to bed next to someone, waking up and seeing her smile to see me laying next to her. 99% of the relationship was awful but i cant help but focus on the 1%

 

anyways if someone has any ideas about how to save my job it would be greatly appreciated. everyone i spoke to in Tesco apart from the manager said how she should be banned from the store and security have agreed that if she was to come in again and kick off then she would be banned which i will push for on grounds of harassment but at this point i'm more worried ill be jobless.

 

Max

[cered]

Hope for the best, in the mean time just carry on working as normal & stay out of trouble. Apologise again to the people involved so if management go to them they can say that you apologised for the fuss. If everything settles down it should be fine. Maybe a 'write up' whatever one of those is and a telling off at worst.

 

I don't think they can sack you for this, it's highly unlikely they didn't lose business as a result and I doubt any of your colleagues will be too 'offended' by your actions - more than likely hating your ex for causing the issue to start with. I can't see any reason why they'd need to sack you for arguing with someone, especially if no customers complained about it.

[Kendo11]

First thing to do, and this must be an absolute priority. No pissing about if it might cost you your job: delete her in all entirety from absolutely every social media account you have and then block her completely. Do the exact same with phone, email, whatsapp and whatever else.

 

There is no way back for that relationship mate even as friends. Bury it and all possibility of any further contact.

 

If she comes into your work whether it still be tesco or elsewhere just walk away, find something else to do out back, go to the loo etc.

 

As for your job ultimately that decision is out of your hands. All you can do is apologise profusely and regularly, kiss arse, offer to do more shifts etc. Might help to explain the situation, be completely honest with them about how they provoked the situation but keep calm when you explain it.

 

If you do lose that job, obviously that won't be great but if there's a connection there then realistically that won't be the worst thing that can happen either.

[Max5437]

Cheers guys, I have blocked her on everything and I honestly want nothing to do with the cow, she completely took advantage of me and I hate her for it.

Well hopefully in my favour is I have a 100% clean work record, have come in often at 20 mins notice when shifts need to be convered and was even down to do 11pm till 5am on Black Friday as they couldn't get the staff. Also in my favour is they fired her for her conduct so they know about part of the situation already but am writing everything down and will present them with all the information, copies of the texts from her acknowledging that I wasn't coping and me telling her that it would push me over the edge and then she still did it. In all fairness I have done nothing wrong and In the past year to help out at Tesco I have done everything I possibly could so that might go in my favour. I just snapped and like I said that's only happened once before and that was after years and years of bullying which is effectively the same situation except it was more brutal bullying over a shorter period of time. I know I acted wrongly but it was deliberate on her part and she knows exactly how to push my buttons and always has and now it might have cost me my income

[Mondo HnS]

She sounds like a proper little headcase, mate! You're so much better off having nothing whatsoever to do with her now and, as has already been said, delete her and block her from absolutely everything.

 

Fingers crossed that you can retain your job but, should worst come to worst, don't go hunting for any kind of vengeance - it's just not worth it.... and neither is she...

[JackyBoi]

One thing: get yourself the best Union Rep your store or nearby stores have to offer. They can get employee's out of shit you wouldn't think possible! Find a reputable Union Rep, tell them your story, and have them sit down with you in every meeting you have with management etc. Hopefully they'll get you off the hook and you'll be given one last chance given the circumstances.

[Scooter]

You are not helping yourself, you received loads of good advice on here and previously from your family and you are ignoring it...........she is attention seeking......she phones you should of hung up. If she had then come into work then you should have walked to the customer services desk or out back into the warehouse and explained to management. I know the mixed feelings part is confusing, but you don't want to be with her, you've lost friends over her, upset your family and now may lose your job. Read that back a few times and see what an idiot you are being! Harsh maybe but for your own good.

[Max5437]

You are completely right and I see it now and as soon as I calmed down. I just snapped completely, not proud of it, tried to be nice and it's destroyed my life, I regret the day I met her, being nice and giving her a lift home all those months ago was the single biggest mistake I have made. I have blocked all contact completely and am doing my best to forget about her. I'm done being nice or respectful. She's dead to me and that's how it should have been weeks ago. I really appreciate all the advice I got and have been taking it on board, thank you you are right, I'm have been a moron, she's blocked from any form of contact and everything I have that reminds me of her is getting chucked in the roof this afternoon. I reached my breaking point and now just need to focus on moving on with my life. She was nothing but a using psycho and I didn't know I could hate anyone this much. No vengeance no acknowledgement, if I can get her banned from coming in during my shifts then great, if not she's dead to me. I'm going to try and get a union rep ASAP but am not part of the Union but will join as I agree it will help. It's easier now I just despise the thought of her, just wish risking my job wasn't the price I had to pay to get over the bitch. Had a load of good advice and going to stick to it. Thanks just fingers crossed I can get away with it. It's mostly a blur what happened, just remember being so so angry and wanting to lash out for her hurting me again

[jim]

Feel for you mate, but Scooter is right, he's had more wives than Supra's so should know...

 

Only other thing I can think of that might help your cause with work is to go to see your GP and explain how you're feeling about it all - if there are medical grounds ("depression" or similar, albeit temporary) that you can tell management about it may help you keep the job. I'm not suggesting getting a sick note and taking time off, just having something that you can use to help show your employer that you're under a lot of stress at the minute.

[Max5437]

Cheers lol I know I have fell into the stupid trap of still trying to care for someone who is essentially a flawed human being, she honestly needs to be sectioned and that's part the reason her parents weren't told anything, mental illness I found out recently runs in her family so she knew they would get her sectioned if she told them the truth, sad really but oh well if she's going to act like that then she gets what she deserved. Well while me and her were still dating I was diagnosed with minor depression and still have the information from that and have spoke to my parents about it and if I still feel like this over the next week or 2 have promised to contact one of the therapy things. Have a free one at a college which might be an idea to follow up on. Actually I'll contact the college one now, think it's a good option, thank you

[Kendo11]

Make sure you do speak to someone mate.

 

It's Movember after all so us guys should be looking out for each other, Al has offered a friendly ear as have I plus I'm sure a few others on here would.

 

Speak to your gp if it carries on but everything suggested thus far will help you in the meantime, mainly cutting that mess out of your life.

[Max5437]

Thank you, it's difficult because I feel like I could do with talking to someone but just don't know where to begin, I really appreciate everyone who offered to lend an ear, I just haven't got a clue where to start, tbh I'm not used to having people who are happy to listen to my ranting and help out

[marc_p]

If I remember correctly from the other thread, you are at uni? If so, don't worry about it, just get another part time job, it's just Tesco, it's not like you're a director of a blue chip company.

 

I think this is one of those cruel to be kind things, but if you worked for me, I'd probably drop you, to the people who manage the store you are just a number, you don't add any great value, you're disposable and they really couldn't care less about a low level store employee. There is a chance that this could happen again and even become more violent, so why bother keeping you when they can just replace you as, probability wise, another person is much less likely to do what you did and they don't want to have to deal with the cr@p that you have just started to bring to the table.

 

Just realise that there is a large chance that you'll be looking for another job and treat it as a life lesson that if something like that happened, just walk away, if she rings you off an unknown number, say goodbye and hang up as soon as you realise it's her.

 

Stop whining, stop b1tching about it, cut her out, forget about it, move on and most importantly, learn from it.

[Hitbox Junkie]

I shouldn't take it as a regret but life experience. As for work in would expect your get a warning or written warning and hopefully they will take your story may be adviseable to go see the doctor as he may put ypu down for depression (which work would reflect on this in there desicion )

 

As for her in future your gunna have to be civil but controlled hard to say I know. Try to avoid block and ignore her in the future.

You seem to be a very nice guy and a girl will see this in the future. Feel for you as your having a really rough time.

 

Ps union rep is a great idea

Hopefully all works out for you buddy. If you need an ear to grumble at just pm.

[Max5437]

It's finding another job that's the issue at the moment, I have been looking but no one local is hiring and that's what worries me, I am just a number to them and it's only the fact she has been banned before I'm hoping I get some leniency and she was openly abusive to the store manager too, she was a Vile piece of work when she was fired bit again like you say I'm just a number to them. It's definitely been a learning curve the past few months and there's no worry about her contacting me, as soon as I heard her voice it would be hung up and blocked.

[Max5437]

I shouldn't take it as a regret but life experience. As for work in would expect your get a warning or written warning and hopefully they will take your story may be adviseable to go see the doctor as he may put ypu down for depression (which work would reflect on this in there desicion )

 

As for her in future your gunna have to be civil but controlled hard to say I know. Try to avoid block and ignore her in the future.

You seem to be a very nice guy and a girl will see this in the future. Feel for you as your having a really rough time.

 

Hopefully all works out for you buddy.

 

I hope it just comes to that but as Marc said I'm just a number and no matter how perfect my record is this is going to reflect badly, the manager said me going in to apologise will have helped my case but it's under investigation currently so guess I find out on Saturday. I'm not being big headed but I do try my absolute best to do anything for anyone and it is constantly biting me on the ass, if I can do anything for even a stranger I try and do so and yet still all I got from her was abuse. She will be ignored and now that I can't do anything other than hate her I do feel better oddly enough, thankfully everyone except management has put forward nothing but nice things for me so fingers crossed it's taken on board for what it was, her bullying me and deliberately causing problems at work, she could have waited in the car and nothing would have happened and she knew that

[marc_p]

What are you studying at uni? How much of the course do you have left?

[Max5437]

I'm doing a business HND locally and finish that in May, then will hopefully be going to university of Essex for my final year unless I can find a job with just the HND which i know is unlikely

[marc_p]

I'm doing a business HND locally and finish that in May, then will hopefully be going to university of Essex for my final year unless I can find a job with just the HND which i know is unlikely

 

Where abouts in Essex are you? Is there any part time jobs that can utilise the skills you are learning?

 

As hard as it may sound, have you thought about selling the Supra, you could re-invest that money and start a small business that would give part time money without too much effort and would look fantastic on a CV, the Supra can return at a later date.

 

What sort of job are you hoping to land?

[Max5437]

In Hadleigh near Southend and I can't find anything around at all, tried in the summer and got nothing back and handed out cv's to every place I could think off and I can't sell the supra as its my mums and she just wanted a reason to keep it and I gave her the reason that we would share it and split the bills so that's not an option, all the money I had went on the waste of a relationship and what was left has gone on my gt4 which I owe my parents money for until I sell my old car but even that won't cover the cost. I have run a Buisness before this time last year I ran a gym for 4 months when the owner was indulging himself on drugs. I wouldn't know what Buisness to try and start tbh, done a few detailing jobs for members of the bar I'm at one night s week but nothing to call an income.

 

Hoping something towards marketing as have really enjoyed studying it and it encompasses some basic economics which was my favourite subject I have studied previously

[Tsia]

Very similar thing happened to one of the employees at a shop near me (large chain like Tesco) where someone came in and started a fight with him over a girl. Security broke it up etc. He got a written warning and they briefly considered transferring him to another store. That was the last I've heard, but I still see him in there working every day - and I know the management at the store (a friend works there as well) is not particularly lenient. Not that I want to get your hopes up or anything, just a situation I've seen already

[Max5437]

Well that is reassuring and the security manager was in and he didn't take any action and they let me finish my shift so they must have understood to a degree or I would have been sent home surely. Everyone who works there even people she thought were her friends have all said what a disgusting thing to do it was and all the ones who have been asked have said it was completely her fault and I hadn't spoke to them before they told me they told management so praying for the best at the moment

[jazz1]

I been through a similar situation this year with my EX, she also rubbed it in my face, but she took her Karma over the bridge. They say Time is Karma, let it be and keep watching Karma bounce back .

[Max5437]

I hope Karma does bite her back but I'm trying my best to just forget completely about her, if I found out she was knocked up living in a council flat on benefits don't think I would feel any better because she would be happy with that life and I find it sad that anyone will limit their potential to that degree but I guess it's just the way some people are wired up. She has no expectations for herself so struggle to see how karma can hurt someone like that ?

[marc_p]

In Hadleigh near Southend and I can't find anything around at all, tried in the summer and got nothing back and handed out cv's to every place I could think off and I can't sell the supra as its my mums and she just wanted a reason to keep it and I gave her the reason that we would share it and split the bills so that's not an option, all the money I had went on the waste of a relationship and what was left has gone on my gt4 which I owe my parents money for until I sell my old car but even that won't cover the cost. I have run a Buisness before this time last year I ran a gym for 4 months when the owner was indulging himself on drugs. I wouldn't know what Buisness to try and start tbh, done a few detailing jobs for members of the bar I'm at one night s week but nothing to call an income.

 

Hoping something towards marketing as have really enjoyed studying it and it encompasses some basic economics which was my favourite subject I have studied previously

 

Everyone has the ability to make money, large amounts of money, most are just too lazy, afraid of risk or just feel too comfortable where they are, which is what really grinds my gears about people who moan about money and jobs.

 

As bad as it sounds, where you are now is a good place, you feel like sh1t, you feel as though you have nothing, which is perfect, it gives you the drive to push yourself hard.

 

I have been where you are now, I found myself living at home, swarmed in debt through poor choices, no job and feeling like the world was caving in.......5 years later, I have a wonderful house and looking at buying somewhere better, I have a brand new Merc E Class, the Supra, a 944 and an R32 GTR and I will be 100% debt free once the Supra is sold, as much as I love the Supra, it's the worst thing that ever happened to me, I could have so much more now if I didn't blow my money on it, knowing full well it would never come back.

 

That was not an easy 5 years though, but to live like others can't, be prepared to live like others won't. It's still not easy, I work very long hours, but my income is climbing continuously, but you have to get into a frame of mind on everyday things where you stop wasting money on cr@p, sure, I buy nice gifts for my missus, but that is mainly to make up for the fact I'm never at home.

 

The fact you want to do marketing is an amazing asset to have, an asset that I don't have much of and in this world of social media you could do an amazing job.

 

I would give you some steps though:

 

1st - stay away from click bait crap, no software in the world will make you money on stocks or trades whilst you sleep and if it did, it would be selling for billions of pounds, not £29.99, no one will sell up there supplier sources for cheap either, why would they if it's how they make money, you'd ony take a share of their market, anything that asks for money for info is a complete waste of time.

 

2nd - Buy a book called 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad', for me, this book was invaluable, it was an eyeopener and completely changed my view on everything from everyday purchases to investments.

 

3rd - Start with what you know, if your good at valeting, set up a Facebook page, set up a web page and start advertising yourself, (even if it got you no business, it's still something to show potential employers what you can do and really makes you stand out), but to maximise profits, sell valeting items at the same time, buy cleaning products to sell alongside, it always amazes me when I see valeters that just clean up the car, get paid and leave. For instance, when the customer gets there car back and comments how nice it smells inside, sell them a bottle of whatever you sprayed in there, if they comment on how well the car has come up, tell them it's the wax you've used and you have some for sale, tell them that the paintwork is getting swirl marks because they don't use a grit guarded bucket, but it's ok, you can sell them one. If you go into detail with advice, chances are, they'll buy something, they are already paying you (let's say) £20, whats an extra £5-10 for something they can use.

 

You can buy all of that stuff very cheap from the likes of China aswell and none of the above would cost you much anyway, maybe invest around £500 in yourself...........plus, cash in hand work, does have it's advantages , sadly, where I focus, it's all got a trail.

 

If you ever want any advice, I'm always happy to help. Another person on here is Jamesey though, that guy is going to be a VERY wealthy individual one day, he really has an amazing eye for business.