adnanshah247 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Veet Hair Removal for men!!! THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. I ACTUALLY HAD TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE WHILE READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO FUNNY!!!: After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect ~ Cerys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Very good. May not be real though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I really hope that is real...... had me in tears in the office and have had to share! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitz Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Best review was the top one but looks like Amazon has 'reviewed and trimmed it' http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/dp/B000KKNQBK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T2 MSW Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 OMG had to stop reading that as pissing yourself out loud is not going down well in the office Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 OMG had to stop reading that as pissing yourself out loud is not going down well in the office I was exactly the same!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShawnPreece Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 :rlol: same as above im in the office so tried my hardest not to laugh out loud..... I failed though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The_Zulu Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 These reviews are equally as good! http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/dp/B008JELLCA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Told you! It's epic! I laughed so hard I had to change and wash twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T2 MSW Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Told you! It's epic! I laughed so hard I had to change and wash twice. Ill save reading the rest of it till I'm at home then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 The last bits are just unreal, that ko'd me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitbox Junkie Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 O man tears of laughter. Haha. How did you find this. Very funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorling Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I must be losing my sense of humour, I've read obituaries funnier than that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 Had to read this again. Still cracks me up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XPS420 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Rofl cake[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] not laughed like that in a damn long time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dim Sum Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Good write up, read some other comments Quote: "It would burn anything,think of it as crotch napalm" To the OP so why were you looking at Veet for men Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mc92 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Haha that's hilarious. Something similar: http://i.imgur.com/TwNBO.jpg (slightly NSFW) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 thought id bump this thread for a laugh, still cracks me up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra_24 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Now thats what I call funny lol. But yeah that cant be a real review. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonkin Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Very funny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 bump to give you guys a lil cheer up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabella Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Excellent the flipping 'wish for a gay snowman' lol'ed me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Thanks for bringing this back up, made my day EDIT.... what are the other threads that need to be bumped periodically? There is drag racing and bonnet catch, right? Feel the need to bump something old and funny...... oh yes and stupid things you have done always a good read http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?35035-Okay-lets-hear-your-stupid-moments-!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 your welcome, still gets me in tears this one lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhy Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Very good lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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