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London bombings: New Europe wide alerts


Gamer

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The first ones not new, but I rather like the additions...

 

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Following the events in London recently the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'.

The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military.

 

Updates from around Europe:

 

The Italians have increased their alert level from "shouting excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing".

Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

 

The Germans have also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "full dress-uniform and marching songs".

They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

 

The Czechs have increased their level from "defend the Sudetenland at all costs" to "let the German's have it if they want". All that remains on their def con counter is "Slovakia is a nice place really, lets take it back"

 

The Swede's have increased their level alert from "passively neutral" to "we're still neutral". Only two more levels remain - "we're remaining neutral" & "send the side that is currently winning supplies whilst remaining neutral" Sceptics believe that Sweden may, in fact, be a neutral nation.

 

Finland are the last continental European nation to increase their alert readiness. They are no longer operating at "shoot the Russian's on site" but are slowly moving towards the level of "Russia, you may be 700 times bigger than our nation, and have a population some 20 times larger, but we'll still invade you and hand your asses to you." All that remains after that is for Finland to use the age old adage of world conflict, by: "declaring war on everyone simultaneously, just to seriously cock things up during a major world conflict so no one can claim victory over us."

 

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find somewhere ripe for regime change".

Their remaining higher alert states are "take on the world" and "ask the British for help".

 

Finally here in UK we've gone from "pretend nothings happening" to "make another cup of tea".

Our higher levels are "chin-up" and "remain cheerful"

 

 

:p

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