Dale B Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Tickled my fancy coz Im an Engineer. Rosie you'll relate to "Take 5" Understanding Engineers - Take One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." Understanding Engineers - Take Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers - Take Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers - Take Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers - Take Five The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an IT degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Understanding Engineers - Take Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" Understanding Engineers - Take Seven Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers - Take Eight An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magicmatty Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 PMSL very good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymanuk Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 *sulks* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 V Good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Terry S Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 and so very true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian C Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 It's all lies. -Ian BSc Eng. IT (hons) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afreemason Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 LMFAO ---- we recruit engineers ....... it's all true !!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonB Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Good one! PMSL! Love take 3, that is spot on. Exactly what I was thinking... Simon MEng (Hons) ACGI ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soop Dogg Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 It's all lies. -Ian BSc Eng. IT (hons) Didn't you mean 'I.T.'s all fries'??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Love those, just had to bring it to the top again for Rosie Gaz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
attilauk Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 PMSL they are all so true - Rich BSc (hons) Civil & Coastal Eng. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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