Jellybean Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdownin overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelleryapplications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husbanduninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and PersonalAttention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby,Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, andHousecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fixthese problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate ........................................................................................................ Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is anOperating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html'and try to download Tears. Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If thatapplication works as designed, Husband should then automatically run theapplications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the aboveapplication can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that willdownload the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in thebackground that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupportedapplications and will crash Husband. In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory andcannot download new applications quickly. It also tends to work better runningone task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improvememory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie. Good Luck, Technical Support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abz Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st3ven1 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 R http://mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?99917-One-for-all-us-techie-geeks&highlight=Boyfriend+Husband Appreciate the effort to give us some Friday funnies, but you aren't having much luck with the reposts today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 R http://mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?99917-One-for-all-us-techie-geeks&highlight=Boyfriend+Husband Appreciate the effort to give us some Friday funnies, but you aren't having much luck with the reposts today. you aren't having much luck with giving us Friday Funnies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st3ven1 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 It's been around since before the cave-men, but it still makes me laugh: A couple is in bed sleeping when there’s a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it’s half past 3 in the morning.” I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there’s a man standing there. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. “Hi there,” slurs the stranger, “Can you give me a push?” “No, get lost. It’s half past three and I was in bed,” says the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, “That wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?” “But the guy was drunk,” says the husband. “It doesn’t matter,” says the wife.” He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him.” So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, He shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?” And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.” So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?” The drunk replies, “Over here, on the swing.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 If you can't lift her, dont shift her If you can't hide her , dont ride her ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven, Sir. Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven!!! A very angry Teacher: Where the f*ck do you get seven from?!?!? Very angry Johnny: Because I've already got a f**kin' cat at home!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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