CJ Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripped_fear Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden1989 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robzki Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 ROFL Whats the benefits of having sex with twenty eight year olds. There is twenty of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 @ Max Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraD06 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 How toMake a Woman Happy It's not difficult to Make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. afriend 2. acompanion 3. alover 4. abrother 5. afather 6. amaster 7. a chef 8. anelectrician 9. acarpenter 10. aplumber 11. amechanic 12. adecorator 13. astylist 14. asexologist 15. agynecologist 16. apsychologist 17. apest exterminator 18. apsychiatrist 19. ahealer 20. agood listener 21. anorganizer 22. a goodfather 23.very clean 24.sympathetic 25.athletic 26.warm 27.attentive 28.gallant 29.intelligent 30.funny 31.creative 32.tender 33.strong 34.understanding 35.tolerant 36.prudent 37.ambitious 38.capable 39.courageous 40.determined 41. true 42.dependable 43.passionate 44.compassionate WITHOUTFORGETTING TO: 45.give her compliments regularly 46.love shopping 47. behonest 48. bevery rich 49. notstress her out 50. notlook at other girls AND ATTHE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. giveher lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52.give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53.give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT ISVERY IMPORTANT: 54.Never to forget: *birthdays *anniversaries *arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring food Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oddball87 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
safcdixon Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_jekyll Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 whilste we are posting the untastefull jokes, comic relief are apealing for as much help as possible this year. for just £5 you could buy mosquito net that will prevent thousands of poor mosquitos from catching aids every year. (hangs head, gets coat ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Lol at the paedo jokes..!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony tt Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastcar Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 shouldnt laugh but can help it:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Swift Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Best pedo joke I know: Pedophile and a little boy are walking through a deep dark scary forest. Little boy says "This is a really scary forest!". Pedophile looks at the little boy and says "YOU'RE scared!? I gotta walk out of here alone!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both." "Fook off you liar!". "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 So this fella goes to the doctors, and he asks the doctor for some contraception. The doctor replies "certainly, is it for yourself?", he says "no, its for my daughter". The doctor says "no problem, how old is your daughter?". The fella replies "7". The doctor is startled, and says to the fella "your daughter is sexually active, at 7?" The fella replies "well, I wouldnt say active, she just sort of lies there, like her brother" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripped_fear Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 so how long before this thread ends up in NWS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamaSupra Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 LOL it's always the offensive jokes which are the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripped_fear Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 LOL it's always the offensive jokes which are the best exactly it can be rude or sick too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonball Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 the fella replies "well, i wouldnt say active, she just sort of lies there, like her brother" o...m...g... :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky_waR Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 One pedophile say to the other pedophile: "You got two 5's for a 10?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soop Dogg Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Best pedo joke I know: Pedophile and a little boy are walking through a deep dark scary forest. Little boy says "This is a really scary forest!". Pedophile looks at the little boy and says "YOU'RE scared!? I gotta walk out of here alone!" Did you hear this in the movie 'Blue Valentine'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Swift Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Did you hear this in the movie 'Blue Valentine'? Nope, heard it from my mate while propping up a bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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