neo2810 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The hospital has a strict regime for taking blood pressure, every 6 hours I've deduced. They usually do so at around midnight, and then again at 6am. The process involves a high tech peg on one finger, a boa constrictor around your arm, and a gun poked into your earhole. This all tells them you're still alive. When it tells them you're not alive, or heading that way, they just swap arms until your condition improves. Rather pointless in my opinion. However, this morning it was not their deviation from the manufacturers recommended operational guidelines that annoyed me, it was the fact that, for the first time in 3 mornings, I was actually still asleep at 6am and had to interrupt that sleep to participate in the farce. So my Sunday began, bright and early. I watched a little Sunday morning telly, which seemed to be either trying to sell me something, or trying to warn me about the dangers of the folk trying to sell me something. I was torn, so I watched a re-run of Mock the Week on Dave. God bless Dave! My consultant arrived not long after and actually had a conversation with me. It went something like this: "Good morning Mr Whaling, how are you feeling today?" "Yeah not too......" Ring ring, "Hello Dr Brin, how can I help you?" Babble babble. Click "Sorry about that, what were you saying?" "I said the pain I had yesterday...." Ring ring, "Hello Dr Brin, how can I help you?" Oh fuck it... I then had a good chat to his younger colleague and got some info. After his call he basically told me he suspected my problem was one of 4 things and that a CT scan was the best way to check those. Yay, I thought, I'm just starting radiation withdrawal from the 2 x-rays, this will charge me right back up. So at last we have a plan, rather than a fumble in the dark. Incidentally, news from Bay 6 in Ward 46 is that Dorothy has gone home and been replaced by Father Ted, except he speaks with a southern accent and is certainly not religious. Now I've got X-Factor The Results and some choc chip and vanilla biscuits to look forward to tonight. I might ask for more morphine come to think of it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathanc Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Didn't know you could go online in wards these days All the best mate! My missus likes X Factor so I know how you feel... Morphine sounds good but you wouldn't want the come down that comes with it (lotsa heaving!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.