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Random Facebook Retards


Scott

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The more and more people that I end up with on my facebook friends list, the more and more people I realise actually cannot spell at all. I remember an advert on the radio a while back saying about the %age of people in the UK who had "trouble with reading, writing and numbers" and it was so high that I just took it as a load of sales nonsense. However, the %age according to the facebook status updates that I keep seeing would suggest that they actually shot a little low of the mark.

 

I know, I know... it says a lot about the type of people I have on my facebook but neverthe less.

 

The one that had me spitting out my coffee 2 mins ago, and also got me to post up this thread, is the following....

 

"P******sssssssseeeeeddddd offffffffffffffff man a need a huge :-(((((("

 

 

Some other quality remarks from today include...

 

"Woohoo got ma babygirl's personalised voucher thru fur her crimbo fur her princess pout modelling photo-shoot :) cny wait,she's gawn to be gorjuss as per usual! Wae her hair n make-up dun tae,the pics r gawn to be fab :) "

 

"Note to self ...... When ur in the shower,keep the dr LOCKED at ALL times! In the shower quite the hing n kin hear ma dr getting rattled,thot aww fk it al jist mang it as a wiz covered n bubbles! Nxt hing a hear HALLO,sumhin getting chucked oan the floor n the dr shutting,bloody delivery driver .... Didny even ken a wiz in,jist open sumdys dr that ye dnt know,its cool!!! Btr lock it case he cums bk hinken am no in:)"

 

 

Feel free to share any gems from your "friends", even if it's only to show that I don't attract idiots.

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Indeed totally agree mate i find when thing's are that bad i feel retarded reading it trying to decipher whats actually been wrote down.

Some people just make a vocabulary out of thin air.

 

This inparticular took me a while to read haha

 

"Note to self ...... When ur in the shower,keep the dr LOCKED at ALL times! In the shower quite the hing n kin hear ma dr getting rattled,thot aww fk it al jist mang it as a wiz covered n bubbles! Nxt hing a hear HALLO,sumhin getting chucked oan the floor n the dr shutting,bloody delivery driver .... Didny even ken a wiz in,jist open sumdys dr that ye dnt know,its cool!!! Btr lock it case he cums bk hinken am no in"

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Don't even start me on this dude, about 2hrs ago i replied to a friend that was something like ''It looks like you have also lost the Ability to spell correctly, and write a sentence properly''

 

everything he wrote was spelt the way he said it i.e i hud(Had) insy(is not) fur(for)

 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

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You've accepted these people as 'friends', who you obviously don't know well or respect, and who you'll happily berate and moan about on a public forum. Who is the retard here? :D

 

I went to school with one of them (9 years, from primary right through), the other is a friend from the local Pub who I've known for a few years now.

 

They are nice people and all, I just find the quality of written English hilarious (and cringeworthy). I'm not moaning, I just thought I would share my random thought of the moment while bored.

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I just get people adding me because of the Supra in my picture and then speaking a foreign language. Now, when someone adds me and looks like they'll speak something other than English, I send them a message telling them I won't accept but if they're going to speak English, add me again and I'll accept you. No one's going to add me again after that message, so it works pretty well.

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The more and more people that I end up with on my facebook friends list, the more and more people I realise actually cannot spell at all. I remember an advert on the radio a while back saying about the %age of people in the UK who had "trouble with reading, writing and numbers" and it was so high that I just took it as a load of sales nonsense. However, the %age according to the facebook status updates that I keep seeing would suggest that they actually shot a little low of the mark.

 

I know, I know... it says a lot about the type of people I have on my facebook but neverthe less.

 

The one that had me spitting out my coffee 2 mins ago, and also got me to post up this thread, is the following....

 

"P******sssssssseeeeeddddd offffffffffffffff man a need a huge :-(((((("

 

 

Some other quality remarks from today include...

 

"Woohoo got ma babygirl's personalised voucher thru fur her crimbo fur her princess pout modelling photo-shoot :) cny wait,she's gawn to be gorjuss as per usual! Wae her hair n make-up dun tae,the pics r gawn to be fab :) "

 

"Note to self ...... When ur in the shower,keep the dr LOCKED at ALL times! In the shower quite the hing n kin hear ma dr getting rattled,thot aww fk it al jist mang it as a wiz covered n bubbles! Nxt hing a hear HALLO,sumhin getting chucked oan the floor n the dr shutting,bloody delivery driver .... Didny even ken a wiz in,jist open sumdys dr that ye dnt know,its cool!!! Btr lock it case he cums bk hinken am no in:)"

 

 

Feel free to share any gems from your "friends", even if it's only to show that I don't attract idiots.

 

Sounds like typical Scottish accent there :)

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Indeed totally agree mate i find when thing's are that bad i feel retarded reading it trying to decipher whats actually been wrote down. ---I think the "been wrote" down should be "being written" down but that's me being picky :D---Some people just make a vocabulary out of thin air.

 

This inparticular took me a while to read haha

 

"Note to self ...... When ur in the shower,keep the dr LOCKED at ALL times! In the shower quite the hing n kin hear ma dr getting rattled,thot aww fk it al jist mang it as a wiz covered n bubbles! Nxt hing a hear HALLO,sumhin getting chucked oan the floor n the dr shutting,bloody delivery driver .... Didny even ken a wiz in,jist open sumdys dr that ye dnt know,its cool!!! Btr lock it case he cums bk hinken am no in"

 

Haha just to throw this in there, which I found quite amuzing as we are talking about spelling and people typing (this is mainly pointed towards grammar), I've put in bold a few things that are incorrect. NTM there are a few commas missing :p All in good fun of course ;)

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Haha just to throw this in there, which I found quite amuzing as we are talking about spelling and people typing (this is mainly pointed towards grammar), I've put in bold a few things that are incorrect. NTM there are a few commas missing :p All in good fun of course ;)

 

Lola i hate you :D

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Most people who can't spell or write properly is because they don't read or have never read any books. If all they ever read is txt spk from their mates and they were taught phonetics at school then it's little wonder that their grammer and spelling is appaling. Examiners and teachers these days look for 'expression and content' in the writing of their pupils rather than correct spelling, punctuation and grammar like they may have done in the past.

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Most people who can't spell or write properly is because they don't read or have never read any books. If all they ever read is txt spk from their mates and they were taught phonetics at school then it's little wonder that their grammer and spelling is appaling. Examiners and teachers these days look for 'expression and content' in the writing of their pupils rather than correct spelling, punctuation and grammar like they may have done in the past.

 

I'll let you off. ;)

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Ok. I'd like to offer a simple analysis here.

 

 

 

"Woohoo got ma babygirl's personalised voucher thru fur her crimbo fur her princess pout modelling photo-shoot :) cny wait,she's gawn to be gorjuss as per usual! Wae her hair n make-up dun tae,the pics r gawn to be fab :) "

 

Surely that's just Welsh? :D

 

 

 

"Note to self ...... When ur in the shower,keep the dr LOCKED at ALL times! In the shower quite the hing n kin hear ma dr getting rattled,thot aww fk it al jist mang it as a wiz covered n bubbles! Nxt hing a hear HALLO,sumhin getting chucked oan the floor n the dr shutting,bloody delivery driver .... Didny even ken a wiz in,jist open sumdys dr that ye dnt know,its cool!!! Btr lock it case he cums bk hinken am no in:)"

 

Ok, here we have some old Norse/English blended in seemlesly with some spectacular drunkenese.

 

 

Feel free to share any gems from your "friends", even if it's only to show that I don't attract idiots.

 

"...Sorry Dave, I can't so that....It's just you!" :D

 

 

 

I think it's more the latter than the former. Our schools aren't actually that bad. It's the people who are in them smile_new.gif

 

I agree with this.

 

I wonder how many parents believe that it is only School, and School alone that is the place for their little darlings to learn to read, write, do sums, and have manners etc?

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"Note to self ...... When ur in the shower,keep the dr LOCKED at ALL times! In the shower quite the hing n kin hear ma dr getting rattled,thot aww fk it al jist mang it as a wiz covered n bubbles! Nxt hing a hear HALLO,sumhin getting chucked oan the floor n the dr shutting,bloody delivery driver .... Didny even ken a wiz in,jist open sumdys dr that ye dnt know,its cool!!! Btr lock it case he cums bk hinken am no in:)"

 

 

Thats not a status update, that's a life story. i dont have enough time in the day to write such items in detail. Who does? People without a job? :/

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Thats not a status update, that's a life story. i dont have enough time in the day to write such items in detail. Who does? People without a job? :/

 

 

Edging dangerously close to the needle moving on the ironic-o-meter. Just one more sentence and it would've been too close to call.

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Haha just to throw this in there, which I found quite amuzing as we are talking about spelling and people typing (this is mainly pointed towards grammar), I've put in bold a few things that are incorrect. NTM there are a few commas missing :p All in good fun of course ;)

 

:)

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