3 Friday jokes for you all.

[Chris Wilson]

[1]

 

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the

coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair

smells nice.

 

 

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a

supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a

sexual harassment grievance against him.

 

 

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks,

"What's Sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells

nice?"

 

 

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

 

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[2]

 

How tough are Aussie men?

 

 

Now- the scene is set, a dark night. cold wind blowing campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky. Three hang-glider pilots sitting by the campfire, one from Australia, one from South Africa and one from New Zealand. Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous. The night of tales begins.....

 

Kevin the Kiwi says. 'I must be the meanest. toughest, hang glider pilot there is.

 

Why, just the other day I landed in a field and scared a crocodile, who came out of the swamp and ate six men who were standing close by. I grabbed the crocodile and wrestled him to the ground and killed him with with my bare hands.

 

Hansie from South Africa who typically can't stand to be bettered said, 'Well you guys. I landed after a 200 mile flight in my hang glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian Diamond Back snake slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grabbed the bastard with my bare hands and bit it's head off and then sucked the poison from it's body down in one gulp. And I'm still here today'

 

Meanwhile Bazza the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his cock.

 

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[3]

 

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day

While they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly

jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and

stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to

the bottom and pulled Jim out.

 

When the director of nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act,

she considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell

Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.

 

The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able

to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the

life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound

mindedness. The bad news is that right after

you saved Jim, the patient you pulled out,

he hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe. I am sorry, but he's dead."

 

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

Now, how soon can I go home?"

 

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[Steve]

Very good Chris!!