Well, I have had better days! UPDATED

[CJ]

Having the chemo now whilst eating a Thai chicken sandwich and drinking coffee. I could get used to this

[Ian C]

If this is your first dose, give it a couple of hours and get back to us, it takes a while to start sucking hard

 

I'm glad you're already ahead of the game with regards to fitness, symptoms, and attitude. Fight fight fight

[CJ]

Just got home and despite the feeling of tingling in my hands when I touch something cold, I am ok. However, as the nurse has explained,

if I am going to suffer with the side effects it wont kick in until tomorrow.

 

A small price to pay methinks!

[tbourner]

A small price to pay methinks!

 

My auntie is just getting over breast cancer, and has the same principle - everyone asking how bad the chemo is, and she just says "It's awesome, it's helping me kill Cancer so I love it!".

[CJ]

My auntie is just getting over breast cancer, and has the same principle - everyone asking how bad the chemo is, and she just says "It's awesome, it's helping me kill Cancer so I love it!".

 

Thats exactly my attitude Trev. Today I finally feel like I am doing something positive to fight back.

[tbourner]

Not to put you off but she's had rotting skin and fingernails falling out and all sorts, and she still says she wants more chemo cos it's the best weapon she has! Some people think she's barmy but I totally get it and respect that fighting attitude.

[CJ]

Not to put you off but she's had rotting skin and fingernails falling out and all sorts, and she still says she wants more chemo cos it's the best weapon she has! Some people think she's barmy but I totally get it and respect that fighting attitude.

 

When I first met my surgeon he explained that we would probably have to perform surgery on the oesophagus to remove the tumour and to do a resection on the tube itself. He told me that it was a very invasive surgery of about 6 hours long and that some people had declined to have it as they felt it was too "life changing". I stopped him and said, "do you know what I consider to be too life changing - dying"!

 

Anything other than that is good news.

[CJ]

double post

[CJ]

So, on Thursday morning, the Chemo treatment finally started with a 5 hour visit to the Macmillan Chemotherapy unit at my local hospital. I have to admit it wasn't without a huge amount of trepidation that I drove up there and walked through the doors but my fears were to be proved to be completely unfounded.

 

The place itself was modern and extremely welcoming. I had expected a "ward" type situation (ala "the Bucket List") but it was nothing of the sort. After the initial booking in at reception you are invited to sit in a lovely reception area and given coffee and newspapers to read. The lull before the storm? Nope - not a bit.

 

They called me through to what they call the treatment area and this too was akin to a reception area with lots of TV's, and comfy armchairs. There are 3 separate areas in here with about 4 people in each area sitting with intravenous drips in their hands / arms. There are no PJ's (all in normal clothes) and no sick buckets in sight - a good sign I thought.

 

Anyway, after one of the extremely friendly nurses sat down with me for 30 minutes or so and explained the procedures etc they then started the intravenous infusion that was a threefold concoction called EOX (the internet will show you what that is) which was to last for about 4 hours.

 

During this time I was fed wonderful Thai chicken sandwiches, copious amounts of coffee and had some great conversations with the other patients having treatment. The only disconcerting part of the whole procedure was peeing bright red after the first part of the infusion which is due to the colour of the the "E" in the chemo. However, that soon passed - if you will pardon the pun!

 

So, I was then given all my tablets to take home (lots of anti sickness for 3 days use and the rest of the chemo treatment which has to be taken orally for the next 21 days at home. I was once again told of all the possible side effects and given emergency numbers that go through to a pager that is always on - 24/7.

 

That Thursday night I felt a little tired and had aching upper leg muscles but nothing major. However, the next day the tiredness really hit me for 6!

 

I slept on and off all day on Friday but luckily (or more than likely due to the anti sickness tablets) did not (and still haven't) felt ill. Despite all that daytime sleep I still felt zonked and went to bed at 23.00 on Friday to awake at 10.00 the following morning - and felt pretty good for it too.

 

Yesterday saw me go for a walk with Josh (about 3 miles or so and really good to get fresh air in my lungs) and not sleep at all during the day. However, going to bed last night at 23.00 again has meant me up at 4.00am this morning but hey, there is only so much sleep a man can have eh?

 

Now, it isn't all sweetness and light though. The big problem so far is a complete loss of appetite. They had warned me about this and I really have to force the food down me to keep my strength up. If this continues then I may just have to revert to some protein drinks but will talk to the nutritionist about this tomorrow.

 

So, that's it. That's where I am at. I now take the chemo orally (8 tablets a day for 21 days) until the next intravenous session in 3 weeks and that lasts for 4 sessions altogether. I then get another CT scan to determine how successful the chemo has been and we take it from there.

[Neil-NA]

You have a cracking attitude towards this mate, really pleased to hear you are staying nice and positive.

 

As for food etc you could always try some ultra fine oats mixed in a blender with a scoop full of protein and milk, can give around 5-600 calories in one go and plenty of carbs.

[CJ]

And yet another show of kindness and generosity here

 

I am truly humbled by the support and generosity shown.

[Josh]

What a great club

[CJ]

I had meant to post this up last Friday and so it is a little behind the times but gives you all a quick insight into how the chemotherapy is going:

 

Hiya Folks

 

So, that's week one of the chemotherapy treatment finished and it has not been without its ups and downs.

 

As the previous missive said, the initial infusion and following day saw me with just tiredness but none of the nausea, sickness or diarrhoea which is sometimes a side effect of the drugs - and for that I am eternally grateful.

 

The nurses had given me anti sickness tablets to take to help with this and take them I did for the 4 full days after the infusion. Apparently, the sickness etc will only come on during those few days and after that you should be clear and so for now at least, I don't have to worry about that. Thats a bit of a relief too as it now means I am down to taking 21 tablets a day as opposed to the 31 I was on with the anti sickness. I swear I am turning into my dear departed Dad!

 

As I said, the Friday was spent pretty much zonked out but the Saturday and Sunday proved to be OK. Not too much in the way of aches and pains until the night time when I started to suffer really badly with the hip and middle back issues. I am led to believe that this is down to the arthritis rather than the cancer although a good friend of mine (who is now clear of breast cancer) said that she too had bad back pain during the chemo treatment and didn't have arthritis. I am hoping the visit to tomorrows "pain care" Doctor at yet another hospital will help me get some rest as a lack of sleep really is starting to get to me both physically and mentally.

 

That brought me onto Monday - quite an average day - but then Tuesday and yesterday arrived and boy have I been suffering. Incredible fatigue, aches and a general feeling of being very unwell has swept over me like a blanket. I had been sleeping off and on during the course of the day(s) and then struggling with pain at night - not good at all. But, it is exactly what the nurses had tried to prepare me for. They said that I will get good days and ones like yesterday and that is par for the course when having chemotherapy. Now, that sounds all well and good but when you are sitting here feeling as I do the thought of another 11 weeks of this is quite daunting until I realise that this is a means to an end. This pain and suffering will hopefully help me live that bit longer to spend time with those I hold most dear in the world and, as such, has to be worth the effort.

 

I guess what I am saying is that some of the updates might start to become a little morose or negative and for that I am sorry but at least you will know exactly what I am thinking and feeling.

 

I also want you to know that no matter how negative I sound, I am still going to be there fighting away and planning for the time when I feel better - the old Col will return, of that you can be assured.

[l33wgn]

Fair play buddy, truly is inspirational reading your updates, stay strong and keep fighting !!

[Darragh]

It is a rocky road your going down but fair play as you've got the first bit over you, no mater how bad things got with me I always thought "there is someone somewhere worse than me right now" and I found that gave me the spirit to keep her lit, hope this helps lol

 

Ps remember to hold your nose when going to the toilet after the treatment cause the smell of it will trigger your sickness and give you a flash back which you don't want.

 

Pps did they give you a hick line in the chest or one up your arm?

[CJ]

I had a 4 hour infusion of EOX into the back of my hand.

 

I understand the comment about the smell too - plus as soon as I take the chemo tablets I get an incredible amount of wind. Not great in social circles I can tell you!

[Darragh]

Is that like the small needle from a drip? I had that into my arm then when the swelling went down they fitted a hic line to my chest and it was so much easier and didn't take as long to get it,

 

But as Ive already said your doing very well and just keeping thinking positive, try and focus on something that makes you smile and makes you happy that's another thing that'll keep spurring you on, also how's your family doing?

[Scott]

As said it's a very rocky road you are on now mate, I can't imagine the ups and downs your going through but the one positive thing is you know the direction of this rocky road and the place it is leading to, so glad to hear you are plodding on one day at a time. The way you are dealing with this is the way I would try to deal with it, which is easy to say in my position, but you have the attitude with your condition that I have without experiencing it so you are a very brave guy and as said before a true inspiration.

 

Keep it up mate, thoughts are with you.

[CJ]

Thank you guys.

 

I met with the pain care Doctor last week and he was superb. I told him I was struggling a bit with the treatment and really felt quite daunted that it was going to be about 11 weeks more. He suggested I make a plan for just one week at a time and to cross off each week. He said, "picture getting through the next 7 days and then, once you have, congratulate yourself and then start another 7".

 

So, that's the plan - just 7 days at a time. And when the going gets tough I take out pics of my sons and think of the things I still want to do with them. That's all the inspiration I need.

[Abz]

It's great to read your updates Col, thank you for taking the time to post them.

 

To add to what the pain doctor said, maybe write a list of things you want to do? Will keep you occupied.

 

Easier said than done to remain positive but remember you have a lot of love off this forum....some of it man love!

[CJ]

..... but remember you have a lot of love off this forum....some of it man love!

And that is just from Ed

[SupraStar 3000]

And that is just from Ed

 

XX

Seriously,... take it easy and keep positive.

 

As a kid I suffered v serious brain trauma after hitting a car.

25yrs later, my brain surgeon at the Queens in Nottingham still refers to my case as a great example of recovery against the odds.

Look at me know,... perfectly normal *cough*

 

If i can turn it around, you certainly can mate All the best.

[adnanshah247]

CJ all our love and prayers are with you. in tough times its the strong hearted that prevail. chin up chap. stay strong and motivated and kick the illness's butt. You have enough friends here for support and im pretty sure you have a strong family behind you as well. never ever give up hope for hope is what makes us human!

 

will be thinking and praying for u buddy. Get well soon.

 

(inshallah)

[Lbm]

The 7 day at a time plan sounds good Col. And as Abz sayas it's great you keep us all posted with your updates.

 

So I was thinking about one of your post you put up here a few years ago.

 

It's probably gone round the internet a Gazillion times I'm sure, but it put a massive smile on my face the first time I saw it - thanks to you

 

I'd like to repost it now in your honour

 

 

The Journey of a Man.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

 

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

 

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

 

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.

 

Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

 

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

 

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

 

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, Gawd bless ya sir

 

PS If anyone thinks this is a little risque or sexist, don't worry. It is. So I've already infracted myself.

[Abz]

The 7 day at a time plan sounds good Col. And as Abz sayas it's great you keep us all posted with your updates.

 

So I was thinking about one of your post you put up here a few years ago.

 

It's probably gone round the internet a Gazillion times I'm sure, but it put a massive smile on my face the first time I saw it - thanks to you

 

I'd like to repost it now in your honour

 

 

The Journey of a Man.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

 

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

 

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

 

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.

 

Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

 

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

 

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

 

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, Gawd bless ya sir

 

PS If anyone thinks this is a little risque or sexist, don't worry. It is. So I've already infracted myself.

 

That is just brilliant!