Jump to content
The mkiv Supra Owners Club

Child with Autism. The on going thread


The Raven

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 217
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 4 weeks later...

Well xmas is coming, Im hoping nath understands it a bit more this year we opened a present early (chocs) and he helped unwrap it which is quite major for him.

 

He took my wifes finger the other day and was using it to point to his toy story book, then waiting for her to tell him who each person was which is great interaction.

 

Onward

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well xmas is coming, Im hoping nath understands it a bit more this year we opened a present early (chocs) and he helped unwrap it which is quite major for him.

 

He took my wifes finger the other day and was using it to point to his toy story book, then waiting for her to tell him who each person was which is great interaction.

 

Onward

Hi mate thats really good news for you guys im pleased the littel man is making good progress :D you got him lots of cool presents,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fantastic updates, I also enjoy reading these & want you to know we think you are a tremendous father.

 

Remember that you might feel bad but you are only doing this for his own good. I admire everything you do and as a couple it must be tough on the relationship, but it makes you all stronger.

 

Make sure you keep us updated and if we can help in anyway then please do let us know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Nath let me cut his hair this week major major step forward that most of the time has to end with me holding him while kel does her best and ends in tears.

 

He did his school play like a good boy although he had been up since midnight so he was a little sleepy. I have to say i love his school the people that work there love those kids, and i think the kids love them back. Yeah i will admit to crying when i left its just so hard not to when you see the lil kids in the wheel chairs dressed as angels and stars.

 

So as a reward i put his tv up in his room for him, i told him father xmas saw him being so good and said he could have it early, i dont know if he understood me or not but he is very happy with being able to watch an hour of Mickey mouse/toy story before bed it seems to help to relax and switch off.

 

I guess at some point i will copy this whole thread and turn it into a blog in the hope at some point in time someone else will be starting to deal with this kind of thing and work out they are not alone.

 

On a personal note, as stupid as it sounds, im starting to take my level 3 child care. I feel i could do a job as a Teaching assistant in naths school (once i toughen up) there are hardly any males in the school and alot of the kids seem to want to play and interact with me when im there with nath. The money is shocking but i guess ive never done anything i wanted to do work wise ive done what i have to so i figure i may enjoy it and give something back.

 

When you talk to the mums/carers turns out most of these guys up and leave as they dont deal with things very well. I would also guess that while some of it is because they are dicks, most of it will be from having no one to talk to, no one that understands.

 

So i am also trying to start a dads club around the school, somewhere that the new dads can sit down have a moan a laugh and just work stuff out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess at some point i will copy this whole thread and turn it into a blog in the hope at some point in time someone else will be starting to deal with this kind of thing and work out they are not alone.

...

So i am also trying to start a dads club around the school, somewhere that the new dads can sit down have a moan a laugh and just work stuff out.

Both are really good ideas. You're an inspiration.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Xmas has come and gone and this year was better.

 

Nath opened a few gifts before withdrawing a little. His sleeping has improved massively, so in your face doctors who said drug him. However we have found out he hasn't seen a speech specialist for 6 months. A child of nearly 6 that cant talk that is totally unacceptable. Last we where told was he was getting it at school and being taken out of class once a week.

 

So we kicked up a stink and now have a meeting next week to try and sort it out. Little bugger still refuses hats and gloves resulting in a cold child when we walk the dog/lion. Saying that he has started to play with Koda he will lay on the floor and wait for him to come over and try and get his toy.

 

For a 8 stone dog he is really gentle with him and it shows nath has interest in playing with others. cracking on with the toilet training, we have been saving for a while and want to take him to Disney world and it would be alot better if he was out of nappies.

 

Dads club kinda failed. All the dads are working and or buggered off which is a shame. My other plan tho is still in affect by September i want to be working in the nursery dept of the school.#

 

I did however meet an awesome guy whos son has alot of issues. The chap had resuscitated his son 3 times!!!!!!!!!! and despite what he was told his son is still with us/talking/walking. So i guess i took a bit more of a never give up attitude from that.

Edited by The Raven (see edit history)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah i do want to do that.

 

But i don't really know how. I offered to hold talks for new parents at the local center but never got taken up on it. Its all very well sitting in a room with a paid "professional" who tells you doom and gloom but never really getting it. Much better to hear from someone that has been though it and understands.

 

I know i go on about it but the sad thing is the males in these family's. To often the mothers are cuddled, spoke to to and cared for. All the time the dad is left on his own to deal with it. My mates dont bring nath up other than passing "how is he" Not one of them has ever asked me how i feel about it. I guess its not the bloke way, the result was for a long time i started to hate the people around me for not caring. When the truth is they probably do but dont know how to bring it up or were not ready for the resulting conversion

 

 

The end result for in alot of cases is the dad shuts off (which is what i did) or worse leaves the family unit at a time when it needs him the most, im not saying all of them leave because of this some of them are just douche bags. But i think alot of it could be avoided if people looked at the family as a whole and offered help. I wasn't offered any kind of counseling or anyone to talk to until it was to late. Finding out your child might never talk or remain at the mental age of 6 forever is a horrific thing to go though made worse when you cant turn to anyone.

 

Who knows maybe one day i will try and write a book about it.

 

I would hope no one with a supra will ever be in the same place as me and have to read this, To be honest im almost embarrassed to have written some of the stuff i have. This is probably not the time or place to be sharing it all. However someone might stumble on it and it may help someone out one day.

Edited by The Raven (see edit history)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would hope no one with a supra will ever be in the same place as me and have to read this, To be honest im almost embarrassed to have written some of the stuff i have. This is probably not the time or place to be sharing it all. However someone might stumble on it and it may help someone out one day.

I'm convinced that this is the time and place to be sharing it. You never know who's out there reading it, feeling helpless/frustrated about the situation, like you said it might help someone out some day, or might be doing that already.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I read every post you do mate. Please continue to write on our forum.

I cannot imagine how your life must be, and I am very honest in saying I hope to never have to be in such a situation, but I have ENORMOUS respect for you.

 

It must sometimes be hard at the end of a day when you sit on your couch and think about the day that just passed.

 

The fact that you plan to do as much as possible with Nath is great ; I can imagine that even though he can not show you emotionally how much he enjoys, deep down in his heart he will.

 

I wish you both a nice week-end.

 

Please, keep us posted. I am very interested to read about your life.

 

Best regards

 

Luc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Just been listening to Mr Fry, and radio kent talk about god/altering a baby

 

Its a tough one, i have to believe that we where given nath because we can deal with it. If thats true who knows but it comforts me so hey ho. I tend to believe in an afterlife, so therefore i have to think about a supreme being. SO then i would have to ask why? Having seen so many kids with disabilities why would a god do that.

 

Radio kent where talking about putting in another persons genes to alter the DNA of a child so its rids the genes of defects. Much in the same way a dog that isn't a pedigree is less likely to have issues. Which got me thinking would i take nathans disability away if i could or would it alter who he is? My first thought was yes, id give anything for him to live a normal life.

 

But then i got thinking. If he never grows up and is stuck with a mental age of say 7? is that so bad? I remember being 7 and it was all good. No money issues, job stress, i could look after myself more or less. Being 7 forever might not be a bad thing.

 

On a brighter note, the family have all clubbed together and got him a sit on electric car for his birthday. It has a remote control so i can steer and power it for him as i dont think he will understand how to use it. I will film him and post it up if he enjoys it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

nath car.jpg

 

Nath in his car, and me crashing him into a hole. He likes it but its a bit slow, i wonder if i could mod it and make it go faster?

 

Im quiting my job in the next few weeks, pending being accepted to work with young disabled adults in day care. Stepping stone to get into Nath special needs school

Edited by The Raven (see edit history)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. You might also be interested in our Guidelines, Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.