Jellybean Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 BBQ RULES We are entering the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part: (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine... (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat Important again: (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine... (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Haha, like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny g Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 That's pretty much spot on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 You forgot the bit about making fire. Man make fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st3ven1 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 You forgot the bit about making fire. Man make fire. Yeah I'm sure there is room in there to include "adds a small cup of petrol for that flame grilled(petrol) taste" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexM Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Jellybean, either you're female or your girlfriend posted up this propaganda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 At my parent's house my sister always does the BBQ - she loves it, for some strange reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 At my parent's house my sister always does the BBQ - she loves it, for some strange reason. Is she really a man? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Is she really a man? I suspect not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I love making fire. Half a bottle of lighting fluid each time.... minimum. Trouble is you only get about 15 mins out of the coals to actually cook anything when you fuel them so much. Looks purdy though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caseys Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 http://www.alternativemeats.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMPEROR Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 If these rules weren't true, it would have been funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edge Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dude Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 http://www.alternativemeats.co.uk Ostrich is definatly THE best meat I have ever tasted, im going to order some now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Ostrich is definatly THE best meat I have ever tasted, im going to order some now. Try steaming it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dude Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Try steaming it. Used to have it cooked on an open grill like a fillet steak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Used to have it cooked on an open grill like a fillet steak. Braised is lovely too though. If it was a choice I would go flame grilled, but for a close second, and a change, slow cook steamed is good too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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