MaveriK Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Into the three figure club i venture and to mark the event i have pulled out a couple of shockers!! Enjoy! IBM salesmen The successful IBM Salesman parked his brand-new Porsche Carrera in front of the office ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a lorry came along too close to the kerb and completely tore off the driver's door. The salesman immediately grabbed his Mobile Phone and dialed 999. It wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the salesman started screaming hysterically. His car, which he had just picked up that day, was now completely ruined and would never be the same no matter how hard the body shop tried to make it new again. After the salesman finally wound down from his rant, the policeman shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you salesmen are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the salesman arrogantly. The policeman replied, "Didn't you realise that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The contractor looked down in absolute horror, "F*cking Hell!" he screamed, "Where's my Rolex?" Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one of the nuns. "The Blind man", replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, so they open the door. "Nice tits", says the man, "where do you want these blinds?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one of the nuns. "The Blind man", replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, so they open the door. "Nice tits", says the man, "where do you want these blinds?". [/size] The first one I forgot how many times I've heard, but the second one Gaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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