Jellybean Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call eachother Laura, Kate and Sarah . If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer toeach other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in£20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actuallyadmit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it'son sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a newargument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kickcats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife canspend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but shedoes. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, emptythe bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopesand dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Haha, some good jokes today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellis Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Attero Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 All truth spat out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripped_fear Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 loving all the jokes today! keep them coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamaSupra Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Is this international joke day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazil Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Another really good one...! It will be my facebook thought of the day for the next 2 weeks..! ILMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradleyh_15 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Bloody I phone!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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