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Men Are Just Happier People....​


Jellybean

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Men Are Just Happier People

 

 

 

 

 

NICKNAMES

 

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call eachother Laura, Kate and Sarah .

 

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer toeach other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

 

 

 

EATING OUT

 

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in£20, even though it's only for £32.50.

 

None of them will have anything smaller and none will actuallyadmit they want change back.

 

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

 

 

MONEY

 

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

 

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it'son sale.

 

 

 

BATHROOMS

 

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

 

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is337.

 

A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 

 

 

ARGUMENTS

 

A woman has the last word in any argument.

 

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a newargument.

 

 

 

CATS

 

Women love cats.

 

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kickcats.

 

 

 

FUTURE

 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

 

 

SUCCESS

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife canspend.

 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

 

 

MARRIAGE

 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but shedoes.

 

 

 

DRESSING UP

 

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, emptythe bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

 

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

 

 

NATURAL

 

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

 

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

 

 

OFFSPRING

 

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.

 

She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopesand dreams.

 

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

A married man should forget his mistakes.

 

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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