Jellybean Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's for real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst jobexperience contest. Needless to say, she won the contest. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad dayat the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share mydilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a fewtechnicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to theoffice. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do tokeep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to adelightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a gardenhose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to thebottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in aJacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So,of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds mybutt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage wasdone. In agony,,,, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked upa jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on myback, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what Ithought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of mybutt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five otherdivers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizingin-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reachthe surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running downhis face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon asI got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my buttwas swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse itwould be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorin Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm in a coma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamaSupra Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 That's very unfortunate, but I still say my engineering job is also a pain the ar5e!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripped_fear Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 made me smile, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazil Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 LOL..! that's really good..! hahah Edit: Just sent this to a bunch of friends...! Cheers.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edinlexusV8 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 :rlol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm in a coma. I'll join you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supra Size Me Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 As an ex commercial diver who has used hot water suits on a few occasions I can sympathise fully with his experience ! although I've not had the pleasure of jellyfish being pumped down to me the temperature regulators for water temperature being pumped down to you are iffy at best the inlet in all the suits i've worn have been at the front though, just above the groin area without warning your love spuds feel like they're a boil in the bag uncle bens rice ! happy days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm in a coma. At least it isn't a full stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evinX Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I didnt bother to read this becuase the title was funny enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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