CJ Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes. I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection............................. but she did. The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. F*ck me, talk about Dyson with death. Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a labrador." "f*ck that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind" I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency. Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse! Do you think I should change dentists? An Irish Man sits in the pub with his wife and he says, "I love you." She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" He replies.......... "It's me...talking to the beer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil-NA Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Haha, all good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyP Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamaSupra Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 LOL those were brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlennK Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Rotflmao!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I enjoyed them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 For sale : almost full DVD boxset of Batman, no returns......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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