Tee from China Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Makes a change from the banana jokes A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet. Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat." Vet: "Is it a tom?" Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us." ...................................................................................................................... A Yorkshireman’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?" Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?" Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!" .............................................,......................................................................... A Yorkshireman’s wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look. When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin". He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the blood y "e" out, you've left the blood y "e" out!" The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you". The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud: "E, she were thin". ..................................................................................................................... Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?" …………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth. Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum" ………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Not particularly a Yorkshire joke but have you heard about the dyslexic bloke who walked into a bra??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animal Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Ha ha A yorkshire man goes into Th'alfords and asks for a set of spark plugs "Are they Champion?" asks the salesman "Nay, they're fooked - that's why I want new ones" A tourist out for a walk through the Yorkshire countryside spots a farmer wrestling with a sheep and says "Are you shearing them sheep?" to which the farmer replies "Nay lad, you mun get your bloody own" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hahahahaha all good :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biguns Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Yorkshire = No gravy on chips :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 No gravy? WTF? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biguns Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 No gravy? WTF? mate everytime i've been to yorkshire and asked for chips n gravy they look at me as if im daft Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 mate everytime i've been to yorkshire and asked for chips n gravy they look at me as if im daft Maybe they know you? I have heard rumours that they don't do owt moist in chip shops in Yorkshire..!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 mate everytime i've been to yorkshire and asked for chips n gravy they look at me as if im daft Chips and graaavy?! Euwww! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biguns Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Good job we from lancashire ive heard that most yorkshiremen have teeth growing out there ears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purity14 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Fish Chips and Pea Wet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Rubbish. I had The Best Chips n Curry Sauce in Castleford a few years ago. I've never asked for chips and gravy although I have that at home. Once got told to ask for a cake in a bun though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 rubbish. I had the best chips n curry sauce in castleford a few years ago. I've never asked for chips and gravy although i have that at home. Once got told to ask for a cake in a bun though. wtf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biguns Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 said they where strange lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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