Lbm Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Surely the whole point of having a cake is to eat it? As far as the multiple partner thing goes - my girlfriend is very accepting of such notions. My wife on the other hand was livid. So much so, she ran off with my best friend, and I don't know what I'm going to do without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 So... No-one is really of the opinion that the odd fling here and there throughout a marriage will ultimately stop people having a full blown affairs and therefore keeping their side sex temptation at bay and maintain their marriage status? I agree with peoples on the whole marraige is a promise to each other etc but would this 'theory' actually stop being splitting up that just want some guilt free fun on the side plate?!!! This discussion we had down the pub was pretty much an even split (between the blokes and girls!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 So... No-one is really of the opinion that the odd fling here and there throughout a marriage will ultimately stop people having a full blown affairs and therefore keeping their side sex temptation at bay and maintain their marriage status? I agree with peoples on the whole marraige is a promise to each other etc but would this 'theory' actually stop being splitting up that just want some guilt free fun on the side plate?!!! This discussion we had down the pub was pretty much an even split (between the blokes and girls!!!) I don't agree with it myself. As I said if you felt the need to fulfill a desire to have sex with other people then you can't be IN love with your wife'/husband. In a happy marrage the thought of being with someone else shouldn't happen, if it does I think it's time to get a divorce before finding someone else. I have had similar chats with friends and they say getting divorced before finding someone else is the wrong thing as you might decide after sleeping with someone else you didn't enjoy it and feel guilty and realise you want to stay with your partner. My arguement to that is if your having thoughts of going else where in the first place then something is very wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 So... No-one is really of the opinion that the odd fling here and there throughout a marriage will ultimately stop people having a full blown affairs and therefore keeping their side sex temptation at bay and maintain their marriage status? I agree with peoples on the whole marraige is a promise to each other etc but would this 'theory' actually stop being splitting up that just want some guilt free fun on the side plate?!!! This discussion we had down the pub was pretty much an even split (between the blokes and girls!!!) I don't think it could be done with the marriage kept going strong. If I were to have sex with another girl, I'd feel really guilty and I'd know my girlfriend was out shagging all kinds of other guys which I wouldn't be happy about. If I get sexual relief from whoever I want, why would I bother doing it with my girlfriend? I could just have her as a friend and other girls for sex. Just seems wrong to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 If I were to have sex with another girl, I'd feel really guilty and I'd know my girlfriend was out shagging all kinds of other guys which I wouldn't be happy about. Why would she be 'shagging all kinds of other guys' surely she'd just go for someone like you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 My argument to that is if your having thoughts of going else where in the first place then something is very wrong. Or you both consent to swinging or something similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Why would she be 'shagging all kinds of other guys' surely she'd just go for someone like you? I just mean, other guys in general. Anyone other than me I am pretty hot though.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwilkinson Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I'm with those saying that this would go against the whole point of marriage. Marriage is meant to be about trust and at the end of the day monogamy. I don't believe the proposed philosophy would be conducive to a happy marriage. I will go ask the wife what she thinks but I think I know the answer already ......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I am pretty hot though.. Oh dear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 I'm with those saying that this would go against the whole point of marriage. Marriage is meant to be about trust and at the end of the day monogamy. I don't believe the proposed philosophy would be conducive to a happy marriage. I will go ask the wife what she thinks but I think I know the answer already ......... Yeah i see your point, and its true. The other edge to that sword is that if you are a good husband/wife, treat your family well and have a good marriage, you obviously wouldnt want to throw all that away over a nobody. But, that nobody might just give u that moment of 'trying someone different' and could stop being getting divorced just becuase they fancy someone else and losing everything. If someone has been faithful, and say after 25years they're eyes start wandering 'shop window style', should they be forced to end their happy marriage, or should they be allowed a night off To fulfil their desires?? Again, this is purely discussion but one that i found very interesting and thought provoking!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 . If someone has been faithful, and say after 25years they're eyes start wandering 'shop window style', should they be forced to end their happy marriage, or should they be allowed a night off To fulfil their desires?? Again, this is purely discussion but one that i found very interesting and thought provoking!!! Again, If they are starting to have wandering eyes then the marrage can't be happy. Their desires should be fulfilled by their partner of 25 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Maybe so, but im sure for some after 25,30 or more years you might have that feeling of just being with someone else, just for a change. Maybe? Maybe not??! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Or you both consent to swinging or something similar. No not at all, That still means there is something wrong, If people can't be happy and satisfied with each other in marrage then they aren't in love with each other and shouldn't be married. It goes against the whole point of being married. To be faithfull to each other, and to spend your lives with each other. You read alot about swinging or similar things like dogging I am just shocked that someone would let the man/ women they love do sexual things with another person. Which is why I say they can't be in love, and can't truely believe in marrage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Maybe so, but im sure for some after 25,30 or more years you might have that feeling of just being with someone else, just for a change. Maybe? Maybe not??! Are you married? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Maybe so, but im sure for some after 25,30 or more years you might have that feeling of just being with someone else, just for a change. Maybe? Maybe not??! I'd love to be able to shag around and tried to when I was younger but didn't have much luck with the ladies. I feel extremely lucky to be with my girlfriend and wouldn't want to jeopardise our relationship in case I don't find anyone else that's anywhere near as good as her. As said before, I'd just crack one off and be satisfied knowing I'd not risked my relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Are you married? Yep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 You read alot about swinging or similar things like dogging I am just shocked that someone would let the man/ women they love do sexual things with another person. Which is why I say they can't be in love, and can't truely believe in marrage. Some people separate sex and emotion - I don't understand it myself but lots of people do find it appealing, and I don't think that means they're not in love with their partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Yeah i see your point, and its true. The other edge to that sword is that if you are a good husband/wife, treat your family well and have a good marriage, you obviously wouldnt want to throw all that away over a nobody. But, that nobody might just give u that moment of 'trying someone different' and could stop being getting divorced just becuase they fancy someone else and losing everything. If someone has been faithful, and say after 25years they're eyes start wandering 'shop window style', should they be forced to end their happy marriage, or should they be allowed a night off To fulfil their desires?? Again, this is purely discussion but one that i found very interesting and thought provoking!!! For me, if you have "desires" for other people it's time to end your marriage. The biggest worry for most people I imagine is the humiliation of knowing that you weren't enough for a particular person and the wondering of what is wrong with you as an individual? I personally could live with being rejected but I would go mental if I were betrayed and humiliated by someone shagging around. H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Some people separate sex and emotion - I don't understand it myself but lots of people do find it appealing, and I don't think that means they're not in love with their partner. I think they may mix the two up, I believe there is loving your partners in a way you care about them. Then there is being In love with them, which to me is a emotional bond of loving that person for who they are, loving their heart and mind if you like, not just their body, or sex. You would do anything for them, they are the most important person in the world to you and as such you wouldn't want anything to happen to them, and would not, with no execptions want them to be with another person in a sexual way. I'm not a massivley religious person, I do go to church not as much as I would like, but I took my marrage vowes because that's what I believe in and wouldn't break them. If, and I hope it never would happen, I found my wife and I were so unhappy being with each other I would end the marrage. I would not have an affair. It goes against everything I believe in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 Some people separate sex and emotion - I don't understand it myself but lots of people do find it appealing, and I don't think that means they're not in love with their partner. Yeah i reckon people could get confused between the two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraP-Z Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 I dont think it would be a wise thing to do...people dont think of the consequences - even after being with someone for so long im sure there would be problems, insecurities, trust issues etc and ultimately divorce...which to me and a lot of other people in this thread completely defeats the objective of marriage. Being guys (i am sure the ladies are no exception), we all have temptations and urges....but looking at someone and doing something about it are two totally different things. Its the urge to get something you dont have, try something different for a change. I see exactly where you are coming from, but there is a time and a place for all that...and whilst being married is not one of them lol. Whether your partner consents to it or not..cheating is still cheating! Although if you (not you personally) find a partner which is happy for you to have a one night stands every now and again...good for you! but an open relationship is not really a relationship tbh. I see the appeal...but its just not for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Plethora Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 I would be happy with one woman for now, she has to know how to fire together a decent meal, not moan about time spent gaming or on cars, not wish me to meet her parents every weekend and like cheesy 80s films. I have yet to find such a beast! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 wish me to meet her parents every weekend Why in the heck would anyone want to see their parents every weekend?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Why in the heck would anyone want to see their parents every weekend?! Ironing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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