Jellybean Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 A Muslim wassitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whisky. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!" Paddy handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!" ------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- --------- Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It’s your f***ing plane!" ------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- --------- --------- - Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. "Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman. "I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy. ------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- --------- Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls aregetting on". --------------------- --------oOo- ------------------ - Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says "You know what I want, don't you?" "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole feckin' bed by the looks ofit!" ------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- Q. What's a Catholic priest and a pint of Guinness got in common? A. A black coat, white collar and you've got to watch your arse if you get adodgy one! -------- --------oOo- --------- --------- --------- - Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U...S. prison service for notservicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap! ------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- --------- Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beachwas asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I don't thinkthat's her, she wasn't that tall!" ------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- --------- Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like madin the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did youdo?" Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they likeit!" ------------oOo- --------- --------- --------- - Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobilephones!" --------- --------oOo- --------- --------- --------- - Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.. Mick say "Crikey! There's a bloke here whowas 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles, from London!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 7/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilps Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I do love a good "Paddy" joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Very good, almost on tears reading that. 9/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I do love a good "Paddy" joke Racist..!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyP Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I lol'd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plus1 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Very good, made me smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Racist..!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soop Dogg Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Right then....who's going to start with the Muslim jokes now.....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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