Jellybean Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as posible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reachng a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joiing a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work carpark at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going to fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I liked that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 In relation to point 1: the heated front screen on our fiesta is an absolute godsend. It's a shame all modern cars don't have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 DRIFTERS 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice on both drivers and passenger side (No point doing the windscreen, don’t need to look out that way) 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace 3. Yank the handrake and ride out the slide 4. Avoid the curb before plowing into the snowbank (backwards) 5. Release hand brake and repeat from step 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Pretty funny and clever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brett 1 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 lol so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 Bump, that time of year again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Haha, forgot about these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snooze Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 In relation to point 1: the heated front screen on our fiesta is an absolute godsend. It's a shame all modern cars don't have it. Nobody except Ford will be putting in heated front screens in their cars for some time yet, because they would have to pay Ford to be allowed to do it. Hurray for patents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnk Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I dont see any mention of pouring a kettle full of hot water onto the screen ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 I dont see any mention of pouring a kettle full of hot water onto the screen ? Its too cold out for women to be pouring water onto a windscreen, as for us men , we have remote start; we are sophisicated, cultured and got Class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 Nobody except Ford will be putting in heated front screens in their cars for some time yet, because they would have to pay Ford to be allowed to do it. Hurray for patents. Paul whiffin has one for your Supra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm a woman according to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm a woman according to that. I knew that was you on Channel 4 "My Transexual Summer" ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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