johnny g Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/201009115834336 Not sure why I found it funny - but am guessing it's in anticipation of the weekend of jokes ahead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny g Posted November 26, 2010 Author Share Posted November 26, 2010 First one... Bernard Matthews has died aged 80.........he is due to be cremated next wednesday, Gas Mark 6 for 3 hours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzle Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 booootiful!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 I'm not sure it's funny, you have a different sense of humour to me when it comes to dead people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnk Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Glad its not just me, dont see anything funny in someone dying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davej705 Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Lighten up guys! British people survive our s**t lives with humour! Bernard Matthew's family are said to devastated after reading the will. He only left a poultry amount Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 I suspect fowl play. Hope the turkeys manage to get rid of Xmas too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Lighten up guys! British people survive our s**t lives with humour! I'm not taking it away from anyone else - I know Johnny's humour, I just don't find it funny. Not yet anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davej705 Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 I'm not taking it away from anyone else - I know Johnny's humour, I just don't find it funny. Not yet anyway. That's fair enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davej705 Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Bernard Matthews started his empire in Norfolk from scratch, in the early days of trading he could count the number of turkeys he had on one hand Six Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Safely Insured Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Come on John, you must have some better ones than that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snooze Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Apparently James Blunt is going to perform at his funeral. Details are currently unclear about which song he'll sing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny g Posted November 26, 2010 Author Share Posted November 26, 2010 Come on John, you must have some better ones than that! Sorry, been a slow day - and I'm at home, on the couch, thinking of Hayley McQueen. But... Bernard Mathews' family are still deciding if they should bury him with or without his giblets. Bernard Matthew's has died aged 80. Police are ruling out fowl play Bernard Matthews is dead. The atmosphere at Bernard Matthews HQ is described as sage.....and onion Bernard Matthew's body now only weighs 3 stone after the coroner drained the water out of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny g Posted November 26, 2010 Author Share Posted November 26, 2010 Apparently James Blunt is going to perform at his funeral. Details are currently unclear about which song he'll sing. Undoubtedly, he'll have a semi by the sea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Sorry, been a slow day - and I'm at home, on the couch, thinking of Hayley McQueen. But... Bernard Mathews' family are still deciding if they should bury him with or without his giblets. Bernard Matthew's has died aged 80. Police are ruling out fowl play Bernard Matthews is dead. The atmosphere at Bernard Matthews HQ is described as sage.....and onion Bernard Matthew's body now only weighs 3 stone after the coroner drained the water out of him. Undoubtedly, he'll have a semi by the sea Quit now, while you've still got some dignity left! not bad, I'm sure some good'uns will emerge soon enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 We have now found out that the funeral cortege will be escorted by a golden drummer..!! H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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