Evil_Nuts Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Hi, I've been a dad for over to 12 months, The girls mum, has been awful to me, i've had to fight to see her, then in august she wanted a DNA test for the CSA as she said i hadn't paid since Feb, which i had.....i found out friday i wasn't Maisies dad and tbh it's fucking killed me, I have no idea why she's done this but I only know that I feel so empty......I'm not looking for sypmathy, my family have been great, i just wanted to share the news with you all and to ephasize??? to all those dads who want to be involved in their kids life to never give up.......... At the moment, i'm broken....i hope that little girl who i love so much grows up to be awesome.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOS Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 That's tough man. Chin up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty71 Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 As NOS says man chin up..... Sorry to hear that news Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil_Nuts Posted October 24, 2010 Author Share Posted October 24, 2010 Im trying guys, her real dad better step up to the plate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Genetics and biology do NOT make a dad, they make a sperm donor.... A real dad is the person who is there for the children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil_Nuts Posted October 24, 2010 Author Share Posted October 24, 2010 Genetics and biology do NOT make a dad, they make a sperm donor.... A real dad is the person who is there for the children. I agree, but i cant be her dad anymore, its not fair on her, me, or my ;partner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra steveo Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 i dont know what to say mate ....... i hope her parents are proud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra steveo Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 are you still with her ? why is she trying to screw you with CSA then asking for DNA tests ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonytotheB Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Damn man, that's a blow. Tough decisions coming but one day at a time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davej705 Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 I feel for you mate,got a friend that had a very similar thing happen to him.he had been in the little boys life for 3years and regularly ha him for weekends still because they have bonded and that.I hope everything works out for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 That sucks. I can't believe anyone can hide something like that - even if it was only a little doubt in her mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Without understanding your situation, is there any room that you can still be active in her life, perhaps it is time to speak to the ex put the situation behind you (as difficult as it maybe), but remove both of you from the immediate situation and focus on the child's wellbeing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobD Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 That's some Jeremy Kyle $4it mate! Feel sorry for you mate, if that happened with Ray I don't know what I'd do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suprab1 Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Genetics and biology do NOT make a dad, they make a sperm donor.... A real dad is the person who is there for the children. Well said Gav. As already said man keep your chin up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil_Nuts Posted October 24, 2010 Author Share Posted October 24, 2010 Thanks guys, I've been in her life since birth, i was supposed to be her primary carer when she was born as she was sure she didnt want her, her present partner isn't the dad either........it doesnt help that i even put great grandma on my grans headstone.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abz Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Thanks guys, I've been in her life since birth, i was supposed to be her primary carer when she was born as she was sure she didnt want her, her present partner isn't the dad either........it doesnt help that i even put great grandma on my grans headstone.... How could some women live like this? Chin up dude, you have done nothing wrong & it must be the worst feeling ever! Not a father myself but I have my nephews & have loads of friends who are Dad's. Some friends who are separated & have no access to THEIR CHILDREN. My own brother can't see his little boy, it's heart breaking. Not only for him but the whole family. Chin up though dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathanc Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Gutted to hear that mate but I am proud of you for being responsible guy! Cheer up mate, you've done the best you can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 That's terrible, You have been with the child since birth? I imagine your named on the birth cert? I don't know anything about this sort of thing, but would hope the ex or csa etc couldn't stop you seeing her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooter Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 My 2p is at this age you are right in not continuing to see her. You sound like you were willing to do the whole remote dad thing, which believe me I know is tough, and that's a very good sign that you will end up being a good dad to any future children you have later in life. To continue to fight for access to a child not biologically yours and at such a young age is futile without the mothers support and I honestly think its the best thing to do for the kid to walk away. It's crap for you but the silver lining is it could have been far worse if this hadn't surfaced until later on and like you feel now there is some poor guy who is in for a shock soon but that may end up over time being as committed as you? I don't know but it's probably like a greiving process for you, tinged with more than a smidge of anger/resentment and perhaps in the background a little relief? .........for things like this the old "time is a great healer" cliches are valid I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awisto Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 That's terrible, You have been with the child since birth? I imagine your named on the birth cert? I don't know anything about this sort of thing, but would hope the ex or csa etc couldn't stop you seeing her. It's hard enough for us biological dads to get to see our children when the mums don't want us to, let alone when someone isn't biologically related. To the op, really sorry to here this. All the best for the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistertwo Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Kudos for being a responsible chap and paying maintainence for Maisy, despite being at distance... not enough of that happening these days. I'm really sorry for you to have found out like this. Has the mother said anything in her defense? Josh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazil Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 That is heavy stuff..! You have to watch out for these girls man..! Jerry Springer Material... At least it's only been 1yr..! Like you said just hope the real dad steps up..! His fixing to get a shock hey..! Good luck my man, time is a natural healer..! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animal Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Fuck dude, that's harsh, not a lot I can say to that, really, just hope you can get things together one way or another. Peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luxluc Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Sorry to hear that mate. After all the months that you have been her dad, I hope you can still be there for her. Chin up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Really sorry to hear this Mr Nuts. I was in a similar situation a few years ago when there were suspicions that my ex was pregnant. She cliamed that the child wasn't mine and that I should fook off out of her life..... 2 years later the mother loses her job and decides to claim benefits and had to tell the social who she thought the childs father was, she put me on the form and the CSA came knocking..!! Took me another two years to force a DNA test and then finally met my daughter when she was 5 and a half. Some women are absoulutely mental and seem to think that having a child gives them the right to treat people like shit. Eventually she has grown up and we almost have a sensible relationship, now my daughter is 15. I'll never understand what she was thinking all those years ago. You result is the opposite Mr Nuts, but for 4 years I didn't know if I had a child or not..... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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