mathew Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 in 4 weeks ive gotta give a best mans speech in a mates wedding. the problem is that this guy is so boring theres not much ive gotta work with. considering there are some humourous people on here i was thinking we could have a brainstorming session and see what you lot can come up with. just a bit of background on the guy....he's 28, didnt even come on his own stag do to magaluf, shy, loves his ps3, would rather stay in playing his ps3 than have a night out on the piss, likes watching gore (crazyshit,theync etc etc) and in general just boring. i cant remember any situations where he has been involved where we've had a great time/good laugh so im struggling here. so feel free to fire some ideas my way guys in the form of opening lines and gags etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJP Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 in 4 weeks ive gotta give a best mans speech in a mates wedding. the problem is that this guy is so boring theres not much ive gotta work with. considering there are some humourous people on here i was thinking we could have a brainstorming session and see what you lot can come up with. just a bit of background on the guy....he's 28, didnt even come on his own stag do to magaluf, shy, loves his ps3, would rather stay in playing his ps3 than have a night out on the piss, likes watching gore (crazy$#@!,theync etc etc) and in general just boring. i cant remember any situations where he has been involved where we've had a great time/good laugh so im struggling here. so feel free to fire some ideas my way guys in the form of opening lines and gags etc How on earth did you get to be best mates with someone so boring On another note how has he managed to get himself a wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 In the words of the great Homer Simpson: "If I could just say a few words...I'd be a better public speaker", always a good start, or maybe not It doesn't sound like you like or know the bloke too much, how did you end up becoming the best man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axle Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Improvise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny g Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Heard one at my cousins wedding where the Best Man looked at the Bride's father and said "Well, Mr Simpkin, 27 years ago you put your daughter to bed with a dummy, tonight she's doing it herself" Went down quite well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 It doesn't sound like you like or know the bloke too much, how did you end up becoming the best man! poor guy, I feel sorry for him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted July 18, 2010 Author Share Posted July 18, 2010 In the words of the great Homer Simpson: "If I could just say a few words...I'd be a better public speaker", always a good start, or maybe not It doesn't sound like you like or know the bloke too much, how did you end up becoming the best man! we all like him its just that he doesnt socialise much with us all anymore. i would like to say that settling down has changed him but i cant see how it has as his misses is out all the time and is a complete extrovert, the complete opposite to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted July 18, 2010 Author Share Posted July 18, 2010 he did push a mate through a window in high school resulting in said mate nearly dieing after losing 4 pints of blood. i think thats about the most interesting/memorable thing he's done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJP Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 we all like him its just that he doesnt socialise much with us all anymore. i would like to say that settling down has changed him but i cant see how it has as his misses is out all the time and is a complete extrovert, the complete opposite to him. Sounds like he has got a touch of xboxlitus, my cousin has got the same Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexJames Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Now it gives me great pleasure to ask you all to raise your glasses for some very important people, without them today would not be the same, Would you please raise your glasses to toast.. The bar staff!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evinX Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Tell it how it is Thank god your married, now get lost and leave me alone, all the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbloodyturbo Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Mr asked me to do a great many things today allthough i did draw the line at applying vaseline to his ring.... or I'd like to thank the bridesmaids for getting the bride to the church today, it cant of been easy, i know is wasn't easy getting the groom here.... (dont do what i did and say this one when they had their service outside and not in a church, it makes you look stupid, trust me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Let's be honest, he'll probably be halfway through a PS3 game when he realises he should be somewhere else - like a Church or Registry Office... There's plenty of stuff out there, so just get an internet template and insert name here and stuff etc as suggested above... A word of caution...with my job, I've probably heard in excess of 1000 best men's speeches. Only a few were memorable and funny - so less is more. 5-10 mins would be good, or in your case...45 seconds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Mitch Murray's one-liners for best man's speech is the best, IMO. You can tell his boring story, but pepper the speech with some of his witty one-liners, and it'll seem really very funny. It'll also help you to construct the speech too, which takes the pressure off somewhat. It worked for me when I was the best man to my friend few years ago. I think the speech was the best bit in the whole disaster of a wedding. Thing is, they are still together, which is amazing, considering his wife is a stunning Czech! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mitch-Murrays-One-liners-Weddings-Murray/dp/0572018967/ref=pd_sim_b_15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanGX Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 I would say something in this order: Just point out how pretty the brides maids are... *clap clap clap* Why you were picked as best man, what you first thought. (You were the cheapest?) When you first met Boring Bob When you first met Boring Bob's wife, what you thought of her - say something ground breaking (not neccesarily true), like ...and when she did that I knew her and Boring Bob were meant to be. Egg it on a bit. If you can, slip in a few jokes. I.e. Wouldn't even come to his own stag, surprised he made it to the wedding as you'd expect him to be mercilessly bringing western justice to Ahghanistan, taking on the Taliban....on his PS3, maybe mention that you had such a hard time, that you had to ask randoms for advice. Offer some advice at this stage, i.e. marriage is all about give and take.....you give, she takes... about 5 things should be enough. Can be found on the net if you're struggling. Pour on praise to the wife, how she's the best thing that's clearly happened to him - anything that gets a guy away from a PS3 is a result - how lucky he is to have her. It's been a pleasure and an honour to be a part of this great moment and raise your glasses to the bride and groom.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Always emotional at weddings, even the cake is in tiers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanGX Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 I'll let Jean Luc speak for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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