Scooter Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 From my experience if the father dont want to pay there is not a lot they or anyone else can do unless he starts to claim benefits They can and do do a lot......but particularly when the mother is on benefits as the money claimed off the father is kept by the government to offset the state cost of supporting her (she would only get the £5 extra you are getting now). Seems like you might not be getting the best of service from them as they can issue salary deductions at source ie instruct your ex's employer to make a deduction of earnings prior to paying him his salary.......slightly more hassle if he is self employed but they should still be able to force something from accounts or self cert tax returns...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 The CSA will go for easy targets every time ie: Someone who is employed rather than self employed because it is generally easier, cheaper and much less time consuming to get information and money from someone employed through a company. They are also hugely frustrating to deal so be warned. If you expect the CSA to be fair or honest then think again, years ago my ex wife worked in the Personel Dept. for the same company as my then partner (now wife) and myself, she accessed both our company records and sent all the information to the CSA, in doing so she broke the Data Protection Act, to put it simply she supplied the CSA with criminally obtained information (I could have had her sacked but how was that going to benefit my kids?) When I informed the CSA of this they were not in the slightest bit interested or concerned and used all the information to reach what they called a "fair and honest" assessment:mad: I wouldn't p*ss on the CSA if they were on fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Some very good points from Supra-aero. My partner has the honour of sometimes receiving £25 a week, but recently nothing for her ex's contribution to their (I should really say "our") 9 year old. The Ex has paid very little, never phones or emails his son, but does see him 1 to 2 times a month. I tried to convince my partner not to worry about his money. But nevertheless, the fella is a p!ss taking dillusioned man, with no regard for helping out here and there. Our young lad has already worked his father out (nothing to do with money btw), and while they get on, he knows who his real parents are. We were going to go down the CSA route, but he also knows he can prove he has little income (even though he works more than he says)...and the arguments...were very hard for me to keep out of. It's a tough one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franko Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 I don't think £175 per month is alot to contribute to your childs upbringing. If you assume that you need £350 a month food, clothes, etc (which is a rather low estimate), and he can afford to run an Audi S5 and penthouse flat then I think she is being very reasonable. £175 a month is far too much money to be paying for your child i have a 8 year old and i pay this same amount for mine, i had looked after mine for 6 months as my ex travelled abroad and i can assure you that i spent no where near £175 a month in that time which i bought various clothes shoes school uniform. My daughter does not have a TV in her bedroom nor does she have a computer or anything, if she wants to play she goes outside to play with the other kids her age, if its raining we stay in and play together things like Monopoly etc. The difference is most partners just want the money to pay for things themselves, can they honestly say that every penny they get is spent wisely on the child? People over estimate things like "oh i pay rent for my daughter/electricity etc etc" what a load of crap you pay for those items anyway you do not take them into account. Plus if i put in £175 a month then surely so should the mother? Which means that an 8 year old uses £350 a month? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIL Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 £175 a month is far too much money to be paying for your child i have a 8 year old and i pay this same amount for mine, i had looked after mine for 6 months as my ex travelled abroad and i can assure you that i spent no where near £175 a month in that time which i bought various clothes shoes school uniform. My daughter does not have a TV in her bedroom nor does she have a computer or anything, if she wants to play she goes outside to play with the other kids her age, if its raining we stay in and play together things like Monopoly etc. The difference is most partners just want the money to pay for things themselves, can they honestly say that every penny they get is spent wisely on the child? People over estimate things like "oh i pay rent for my daughter/electricity etc etc" what a load of crap you pay for those items anyway you do not take them into account. Plus if i put in £175 a month then surely so should the mother? Which means that an 8 year old uses £350 a month? Fair point but the £175.00 was agreed between them long ago as a fair and equitable monthly figure. I also think that in the area we live £175.00 does not go as far as other parts of the country, things here are very expensive. I also have to disagree that its just food and clothes that need to be covered. What about toys, school trips, partys etc all that needs to be factored, its surely unfair that only one parent carry that financial burden? However all that said, the underlying issue I feel is not the money itself, as I say she copes admirably with what she has, but the fact that he has absolved himself of all financial responsibility but maintains all access privilages and rights! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 £175 a month is far too much money to be paying for your child i have a 8 year old and i pay this same amount for mine, i had looked after mine for 6 months as my ex travelled abroad and i can assure you that i spent no where near £175 a month in that time which i bought various clothes shoes school uniform. My daughter does not have a TV in her bedroom nor does she have a computer or anything, if she wants to play she goes outside to play with the other kids her age, if its raining we stay in and play together things like Monopoly etc. The difference is most partners just want the money to pay for things themselves, can they honestly say that every penny they get is spent wisely on the child? People over estimate things like "oh i pay rent for my daughter/electricity etc etc" what a load of crap you pay for those items anyway you do not take them into account. Plus if i put in £175 a month then surely so should the mother? Which means that an 8 year old uses £350 a month? Like you, we too are quite prudent with our money and our own kids. We do not spend much money on weekends, or expensive days out on a regular basis. Treats, now and then. But his father on the other hand really offers very little...As Vil suggets, with a school trip here, the odd trip to a zoo there, plus weekly food bill, shoes, swimming lessons, clothes, it does really add up. Running around, a bit of petrol and so on...and a few years back there were endless nappies and associated baby things to be paid for, regular as clockwork. I do however agree that some people may enjoy their child's money a little too much, I can assure you in no way is my partner profiteering from her ex. And even at a figure of £175 pcm, she would not have been creaming it in. In 10 years, he's never paid for his lad to have a holiday, not even a Brirish holiday in a tent. I'm fortunate enought to have all four of us go away, once a year, and again - as a gesture he wouldn't even think to hand over a pound for his boy to have an ice cream. He puts in approximately 72 hours per month of child-bonding, care and attention, feeding (kind of), and messing around with etc... And in monetary terms at present, approximately one pound per day. So is £175 per month too much? Well imho, no it isn't, but we aren't asking him for that. We ask for nothing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil_Nuts Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 I dont get how either parent can be such an ass with their own children, Maisie is the best thing I've ever done, every time she smiles it makes me realise how bloody lucky I am..........and hopefully she'll love my supra.....she already watched Top gear on Dave with me......shes 8 months old! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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