VIL Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Advice please. A good friend of mine (female) has a 9 year old son she has been bringing up on her own since the child was about 18 months old. I recently found out that he ex has only ever paid her intermittently for child support and for the past 12 months has paid her nothing at all!! He is only required to pay £175.00 per month (as per an agreement they made between themselves not via the CSA) but has been claiming he has set up a new business and can’t afford to give her any money. He recons he has checked with the CSA and they told him he does not have to pay her!!! Which I don’t believe. To add insult to injury he lives in a nice rented apartment with his girlfriend and 2 year old daughter and drives a new Audi S5! My friend and her ex don’t get on particularly well and she is worried by forcing the issue the relationship will completely break down between them adversely affecting her son. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Does anyone have any constructive advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilicos Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Long and short is that he has to pay and they will make him pay the arrears also. CAB will have all the info she needs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wez Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 If he continues to abuse the initial agreement and the CSA get involved it will be taken from him before he gets it and I am 90% sure it would be a lot more than £175 per month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBDJ Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 The CSA won't backdate payments; they will only start from when they have made an assessment. Since they have a private agreement without CSA involvement they won't have made an assessment so will only be able to backdate from when she contacts them and they make contact with him. It's quite unlikely that she will have any grounds to go back and chase the missed payments unless they have a properly signed agreement, payment receipts etc in place. Without that it would make it hard for her to prove anything. Some things worth noting - if the non resident parent earns less than £100 a week (net) or they (or their partner) claims from a long list of benefits then it's a flat rate payment of £5 a week. If his income is low and he has a resident child it could well be that they payments will be a lot less than she is expecting. The CSA have a maintenance calculator online - https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp - which also details about the benefit claimant aspect too. As an example, if the non-resident parent earns £300 a week net, is paying for one child, claims no benefits, has the child less than 52 nights and has one other child living with them now then the payment is just £38 a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilicos Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 The CSA won't backdate payments; they will only start from when they have made an assessment. Since they have a private agreement without CSA involvement they won't have made an assessment so will only be able to backdate from when she contacts them and they make contact with him. It's quite unlikely that she will have any grounds to go back and chase the missed payments unless they have a properly signed agreement, payment receipts etc in place. Without that it would make it hard for her to prove anything. Some things worth noting - if the non resident parent earns less than £100 a week (net) or they (or their partner) claims from a long list of benefits then it's a flat rate payment of £5 a week. If his income is low and he has a resident child it could well be that they payments will be a lot less than she is expecting. The CSA have a maintenance calculator online - https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp - which also details about the benefit claimant aspect too. As an example, if the non-resident parent earns £300 a week net, is paying for one child, claims no benefits, has the child less than 52 nights and has one other child living with them now then the payment is just £38 a week. A friend of mine did not know that he had fathered a child and when he was tracked down they made him pay back-dated support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIL Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 The CSA won't backdate payments; they will only start from when they have made an assessment. Since they have a private agreement without CSA involvement they won't have made an assessment. It's quite unlikely that she will have any grounds to go back and chase the missed payments unless they have a properly signed agreement, payment receipts etc in place. Without that it would make it hard for her to prove anything. Some things worth noting - if the non resident parent earns less than £100 a week (net) or they (or their partner) claims from a long list of benefits then it's a flat rate payment of £5 a week. If his income is low and he has a resident child it could well be that they payments will be a lot less than she is expecting. The CSA have a maintenance calculator online - https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp - which also details about the benefit claimant aspect too. Thanks for the advice. I think this may be what he is banking on...as I understand it, his girlfriend works and he is claiming that she is paying for everything and as he has a new business thats not yet made any money he does not have to pay her as he effectively has no money. Its seems rather convenient however as he just chopped in his Porsche Turbo for the S4 and has a penthouse flat in a very expensive area! I wish I had a girlfriend like his, she must be a) extremely well paid, and b) be very generous!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra_aero Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Does she really need this money? Or is it to get back to him or make it seem fair. I'd just disown the loser and take care of my child entirely. Speaking from experience here. She will become a much stronger and better person and the child will respect her massively when they grow up I can assure you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBDJ Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 A friend of mine did not know that he had fathered a child and when he was tracked down they made him pay back-dated support Sounds fishy to me... the CSA can't and won't backdate payments from before they were contacted. Sounds like the CSA were contacted earlier than he though to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilicos Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Sounds fishy to me... the CSA can't and won't backdate payments from before they were contacted. Sounds like the CSA were contacted earlier than he though to me. Maybe:search: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBDJ Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Thanks for the advice. I think this may be what he is banking on...as I understand it, his girlfriend works and he is claiming that she is paying for everything and as he has a new business thats not yet made any money he does not have to pay her as he effectively has no money. Its seems rather convenient however as he just chopped in his Porsche Turbo for the S4 and has a penthouse flat in a very expensive area! I wish I had a girlfriend like his, she must be a) extremely well paid, and b) be very generous!! If his net income is £5 or less a week then I believe the CSA won't make him pay anything. Sounds very conveniently arranged to me (and probably for more reasons than the CSA) and I'm definitely not a fan of irresponsible parents... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra_aero Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Does she really need this money? Or is it to get back to him or make it seem fair. Still want to know answer to this... She should think about this question very seriously and carefully too as in my opinion determines what type of individual you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBDJ Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Oh sorry, forgot to mention one bit of good news for her - the CSA can and will take into account 'special circumstances'. Relevant ones for her: * If the non-resident parent controls their income and receives an income of more than £100 a week from a company or a business (for example, income received by company directors as dividends). * If the non-resident parent has reduced the amount of income that we can take account of by diverting it to someone else for another purpose, for example into a business. * If the non-resident parent seems to have a way of life associated with someone whose income is much higher than the income we used to work out child maintenance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilicos Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Still want to know answer to this... She should think about this question very seriously and carefully too as in my opinion determines what type of individual you are. I don't think £175 per month is alot to contribute to your childs upbringing. If you assume that you need £350 a month food, clothes, etc (which is a rather low estimate), and he can afford to run an Audi S5 and penthouse flat then I think she is being very reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIL Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 Does she really need this money? Or is it to get back to him or make it seem fair. I'd just disown the loser and take care of my child entirely. Speaking from experience here. She will become a much stronger and better person and the child will respect her massively when they grow up I can assure you. Not especially as she has been managing till now. Its just the fact that he is IMO taking the piss out of her and not standing up to his responsibilities. Equally her son is getting older now and requiring more things than when he was a small child eg more expensive clothes, food, school trips, computers etc and why should she as a single parent have to go to work, pay the bills and bring him up on her money alone. Note, he still has fill access rights to the child so he cant claim diminished responsibility either! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra_aero Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I don't think £175 per month is alot to contribute to your childs upbringing. If you assume that you need £350 a month food, clothes, etc (which is a rather low estimate), and he can afford to run an Audi S5 and penthouse flat then I think she is being very reasonable. I agree. But I'd respect people like my mother who could afford to raise two children who made her proud from a very very humble beginning who worked hard for everything she had, to a lady who "sues him for all he has" to make her life easy (which my mother could have easily done by the way). Not especially as she has been managing till now. Its just the fact that he is IMO taking the piss out of her and not standing up to his responsibilities. Equally her son is getting older now and requiring more things than when he was a small child eg more expensive clothes, food, school trips, computers etc and why should she as a single parent have to go to work, pay the bills and bring him up on her money alone. Note, he still has fill access rights to the child so he cant claim diminished responsibility either! I see what you are saying Vil. I could've had everything I ever dreamed of at a young age if my mum followed your view (which in actual fact, this lady and every lady has every right to pursue this matter). Just by not having everything and understanding now why my mum did what she did with the huge sacrifices she made, made me a much better person. I'd have had very little respect for the value of things if my mum had exercised these rights. That's all I am saying. Material goods can wait. He is only a child afterall. PLus this way when the child grows up and finds out he'll see the dad for what he truly is. A mother shouldn't even have to ask for a dime knowing a son needs clothes, food and water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIL Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 I agree. But I'd respect people like my mother who could afford to raise two children who made her proud from a very very humble beginning who worked hard for everything she had, to a lady who "sues him for all he has" to make her life easy (which my mother could have easily done by the way). I see what you are saying Vil. I could've had everything I ever dreamed of at a young age if my mum followed your view (which in actual fact, this lady and every lady has every right to pursue this matter). Just by not having everything and understanding now why my mum did what she did with the huge sacrifices she made, made me a much better person. I'd have had very little respect for the value of things if my mum had exercised these rights. That's all I am saying. Material goods can wait. He is only a child afterall. PLus this way when the child grows up and finds out he'll see the dad for what he truly is. A mother shouldn't even have to ask for a dime knowing a son needs clothes, food and water. TBH I agree with you in many respects. However the child is not aware of the situation (as you would expect) as she does not want things to become difficult so would never mention it. He however is the sort of guy who will spend money on his son now and again when it suits him (eg a new football or England top) and will simply claim he has been giving her money when he has not so I dont think there will be a moral victory as her son will forever think his dad was a good guy and gave him all the treats in life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilicos Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 TBH I agree with you in many respects. However the child is not aware of the situation (as you would expect) as she does not want things to become difficult so would never mention it. He however is the sort of guy who will spend money on his son now and again when it suits him (eg a new football or England top) and will simply claim he has been giving her money when he has not so I dont think there will be a moral victory as her son will forever think his dad was a good guy and gave him all the treats in life! It is up to him to prove he gave the money. Otherwise, he should pay her by cheque/tfr etc to leave a paper-trail to cover himself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra_aero Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 TBH I agree with you in many respects. However the child is not aware of the situation (as you would expect) as she does not want things to become difficult so would never mention it. He however is the sort of guy who will spend money on his son now and again when it suits him (eg a new football or England top) and will simply claim he has been giving her money when he has not so I dont think there will be a moral victory as her son will forever think his dad was a good guy and gave him all the treats in life! Ultimately though that's what matters most, as unfair as it may seem to the mother. If the father/son relationship is good the mother should be at least a little happy. The son will inevitably find out/work it out that the mother was there 95% of the time and provided for him throughout. Most children will grow up to respect this and it doesn't go un-noticed; even if it does seem to be ignored at the bad times when they are teens etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil_Nuts Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 This fucking annoys me, i pay £260 for my daughter a month and to make matters worse i only get to see her for 7 hours every 2 weeks.....I've tried solicitors and courts only to be told because I'm seeing her I have no right to seek anymore time, i have to wait till she's older which is absolutely killing me.......so its not always the guys who are retarded......oh and the CSA are a bunch of fuckpigs, I over paid by nearly £500 and they said they couldn't give me the money back......grrrrr Rant over...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BazzaAlpine Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Had my fair share of run ins with the CSA as well but I would say if he is abusing the system they set up then let the CSA take him on and see how much the git gets away with then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 She should go to the CSA now. I've had my dealings with them before but to be fair it was a different system back then. I was under the impression that he would have to pay 15% of his disposable income having one child to pay for? His living expenses and his car etc will not come into the equation. If he's self employed then it may be difficult to prove how much he actually earns. I was a salaried employee so I was the easy target..!! Like I said, things have changed. My ex tried to shaft me over payments even though I made her an offer of over £175 a month. 10 years ago. Eventually she went through the CSA as her mates told her that she'd get about £300 a month. In the end she ended up with £104 a month..!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooter Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 This $#@!ing annoys me, i pay £260 for my daughter a month and to make matters worse i only get to see her for 7 hours every 2 weeks.....I've tried solicitors and courts only to be told because I'm seeing her I have no right to seek anymore time, i have to wait till she's older which is absolutely killing me....... hang in there it will get better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooter Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 She should go to the CSA now. .............................................................................. Eventually she went through the CSA as her mates told her that she'd get about £300 a month. In the end she ended up with £104 a month..!! H. I'd say that's a good reason not to go to the CSA I think the CSA whilst necessary in some cases it/they can be very devisive. If the guy got assessed at nil now because of the girlfriends support then it will have to be continually reviewed down the line and may mean she gets less than if she keeps nudging him and he gets the business going or is back in work soon..........basically it's best if at all possible to sort these things out between eachother....CSA=last resort IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest amy-v17 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Children are expensive and if she is getting nothing now then she might be better off going to the CSA. Even if it means that the amount she gets paid goes down at least she knows that she will get the payments regularly unlike at the moment. At the end of the day its her choice whether she wants to pursue it or not. If she really doesnt need the money and he really is that much of a waste of space then I'd just forget about him, when her son is old enough to know what's going on he will resent him for it and he will have nobody to blame but himself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJP Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 A friend of mine did not know that he had fathered a child and when he was tracked down they made him pay back-dated support Lucky her/him, I went to the CSA over 2 and half years ago. I have only started to receive payments 3 months ago when my ex lost his job and started to sign on. I get 5 pounds a week for his two daughters which he hardly sees (too busy with his social life). When I speak to the CSA there is no mention of the money he owes for the past 2 and a bit years. From my experience if the father dont want to pay there is not a lot they or anyone else can do unless he starts to claim benefits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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