MaveriK Posted June 3, 2005 Share Posted June 3, 2005 Enjoy!!!! >Subject: FW: Council howlers > > > >These are genuine clips from council complaint letters: > > > > > >*My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage > > >has fungus growing in it. > > >*He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just > > >can't take it anymore. > > >*It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow > > >*I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and > > >burnt my knob off > > >*I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when > > >he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. > > >*And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls > > >against my fence. > > >*I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet > > >roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. > > > > > >*My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? > > >*I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the > > >wall. > > >*Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife > > >tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. > > >*I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen > > >*50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% > > >are plain filthy. > > >*I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. > > >*The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it > > >is sorted > > >*Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny > > >colour and not fit to drink. > > >*Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. > > >*I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every > > >morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much > > >for me. > > >*The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which > > >is unsightly and dangerous. > > >*Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a > > >third so please send someone round to do something about it. > > >*I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you > > >please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me > > >every night. > > >*Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and > > >satisfy my wife. > > >*I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I > > >still have no satisfaction > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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