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The mkiv Supra Owners Club

Mary Poppins' Rectum


Matt H

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'Police in Washington state were amazed to discover the amount of contraband one prisoner was able to smuggle into a jail by hiding it up his rectum. Authorities in Wenatchee, Washington, were surprised to find that the man had managed to sneak a cigarette lighter, cigarette papers, a bag of tobacco the size of a golf-ball, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a small baggie of what was thought to be marijuana, and an inch-long smoking pipe into jail by hiding them up himself'

 

'Wenatchee Police Department spokesman Sergeant John Kruse told the Wenatchee World newspaper: 'We were all wondering, "How do you put all that up there?" The tobacco was pretty impressive; it was a good ounce'

 

:D

 

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/829679-police-astonished-by-rectal-capacity-of-prison-smuggler

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Supercriminalormisfitwithamassiveanus

 

Haha yes, He could have got more than that in there if he'd have put his mind/sphincter to it.

 

Still, after all that effort it sucks for him to get caught. Hopefully the tattoo needles stayed wrapped up... Ouch!

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Reminds me of the Irishman with "a bit of trouble":

 

An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....

 

'Dactor, it's me ahrse.I'd like ya ta teyk a look, if ya woot'.

 

So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.

 

'Incredible', he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'

 

Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10 note appears.

 

'This is amazing!' exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?'

 

'Well fur gadness sake teyk it out, man!' shrieks the patient.

 

The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc.....

 

Finally the last bill comes out and no more appear.

 

'Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter. Just out of interest, how moch was in dare den?'

 

The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says '£1,990 exactly.'

 

'Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman

 

'I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.'

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