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Weakness on parade


DaveR

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This is a bit delayed really, but I thought it might amuse...

 

I'm guessing there probably aren't many Telegraph readers on this site (although I could be wrong...), so for those that missed it last Wednesday, here are some pics of one of my soldiers showing severe weakness on parade last week while we were practising for the Queen's Birthday Parade.

 

I'm the rigidly smart one closest to the camera behind the horse on pic 1, by the way...!

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You look a bit lost stood back there, why aren't you in a line with some other 3 stripe people?

 

There aren't enough of us to form a whole rank! It's great being stood on my own at the back, anyway. I can basically do my own thing (within reason, anyway...).

 

 

Do the hats have fans in?

 

Sadly not. It's like a furry pressure cooker in the summer...

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Are collapses / weaknesses on formal parades quite common?

 

Mmm. Not really. Hence the use of the word "weakness" in the title! It does happen more now, to be honest. There wasn't even a good excuse in this instance. Mutant!

 

 

Someone didn't have their weatabix that same morning! Hope he was okay.

 

A few scans and a week on the sick later and yeah, he's up and breathing. For how long, no one knows, of course...

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For many years I thought men passed out on parade due to a combination of heat and constant pressure exerted up their spine by standing on their heels for long periods of time.

 

I believe soldiers normally employ the rocking back & forth method from heel to toe to relieve the strain.

 

Therefore nothing to do with toughness etc...

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So is it true that when marching, if the person in front collapses you must carry on re-gaurdless lol.

 

Yes. Yes it is. Steadiness on parade is key!

 

 

I think he was attempting a pun, but he misspelt the misspelling. ;)

 

Carry on 'reguardless', is what he meant, I believe. Yeses he did. :)

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Also are they made of bear skin, or are they fake fur lol.

 

If it's an old one, it's genuine bearskin (mine is), the new ones are synthetic and look crap! Bloody animal rights bods...

 

 

gave me a little heads up on what to expect before i joined the Army , when we were on parade i expected to be there for a while :)

 

This particular parade is 3 hours. Yeah, nice!

 

 

I have to ask this but going to get stick for it more than likely. So here it goes, has anyone ever had a case of the trots haha.

 

Very occasionally. You just have to man-up and get on with it! More common is drinking loads of water so that you're nicely hydrated but then needing a p*ss after 10 minutes and having to either get on with it or just decide to let it all go. That's happened in the summer outside Buck' Palace more then the general public will ever know!

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For many years I thought men passed out on parade due to a combination of heat and constant pressure exerted up their spine by standing on their heels for long periods of time.

 

I believe soldiers normally employ the rocking back & forth method from heel to toe to relieve the strain.

 

Therefore nothing to do with toughness etc...

 

 

To a certain extent, this is true. The techniques to stay alert vary from wiggling toes in boots to gently clenching and releasing muscles in the hands - basically any movement which can't be seen obviously from the outside (as the rocking method certainly would!) but which keeps the blood moving a bit more than it would be otherwise. In truth, you never really stand still for a huge amount of time.

 

This individual went down after only about 15 - 20 minutes of being stood on Horse Guards Parade after a nice long march up Birdcage Walk, though, so like I said, no excuses!

 

A lot of it is just simply taking the pain, manning-up and getting on with it.

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So being on parade, is not such a enjoyable event then. I suppose its to show the stamina and restraint of the British forces.

 

It depends on how much of a pervert you are. I atually quite enjoy it. Make of that what you will!

 

 

does look like a very good / smart parade tho :salute:

 

Free plug: Watch the actual thing on BBC 1 on 12 June! Try to spot the smartest man on parade while you're there (Hint: I'm on the rear right of the Escort. Ha ha!).

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