joke Suicide Bombers Strike

[edinlexusV8]

Pulled this one from one of the other car forums. Find it quite funny ... hope it doesnt offend anybody -whoever is participating in the said strike

 

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement

 

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

 

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

 

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

 

Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

 

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

 

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that Muslim suicide bombers know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen on going to paradise.

[Andy-No-Knee]

AHhahahahahahahahahaha!!!

 

Fantastic!!!

[Konrad]

Talking about these virgins. Who with the right mind would like to have 70 of them? Did they ever sleep with one? It's like walking on mine field, but hey, they are used to going boom all the time

[ivan]

And where does it stipulate that the virgins are going to be female?

[Konrad]

And where does it stipulate that the virgins are going to be female?

 

Or even human

[j1mb0b1]

ROFL !!! nice

[TonyP]

 

25% cut from 72 to 60 pmsl :

 

IBTL

[Ian C]

 

25% cut from 72 to 60 pmsl :

 

 

I was going to make the same point. Maths FAIL.

[Guest Luke Hero]

lol good stuff

[Spike3.0]

Class