dr_jekyll Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 What's long green and smells of pork?? Kermits middle finger. pmsl, like that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraD06 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Two fat guys sat in a pub, one say's to the other " your round " to which the other guy replies " so are you, you fat f*%! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Whats the medical term for the fatty tissue around the clitoris?? The wife! I bow down to that one...very good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest blueangel Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 why do women get married in white all kitchen appliances come in white what does Wife stand for Washing Ironing **cking Etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abz Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Septic Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Paddy is in a disco. He asks a girls: ''How about a f***?'' she replies ''im on a menstrual cycle.'' "Great!'' he says ''I'm on my scooter, ill follow you home''. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian C Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 How does every racist joke start? With a glance over your shoulder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Why do bees stay in their hives in the winter? Swarm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axle Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like ayoung girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is... "I'm... 93 years old," he says.":yes: "93!?" replies the woman. "Don't you realise you've had it? ":blink: "Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Septic Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 when i was younger i was scared of the dentist...... he was a paedophile. which of course begs the question - how many fillings did he give me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny g Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Why did Lt Uhura smell of poo? Because William Shatner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Well, after reading the above, I reckon I am more akin to Tommy Cooper than I first thought. Which reminds me..... I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted February 24, 2010 Author Share Posted February 24, 2010 (cringe) Michelle Pfeiffer may have a silent p, but you can hear her dump blocks away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snooze Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 What's ET short for? 'cos he's only got little legs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 I've written a book about sexism in society. It even has pictures so women can understand it. Just read a book about the history of glue........i couldn't put it down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 what is a wife? an implement you screw on the bed to get the ironing done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 what do you call a man with a spade in his head? dead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 what do you call a man with a spade in his head? dead Doug? (Dug) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ric Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Doug? (Dug) better than the original haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 What do you call a man with no shins Tony (toe knee ) I'll get me coat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P 17EED Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Just seen a flok of cow's! My mate said 'heard of cows you t@*t' I replied 'Of course ive heard of cows, there's a flok of them in front of me!!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_jekyll Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 big fight at the local chippy last night, really messy. 2 fish got batterd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 I went to the doctor the other day. I said 'with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep'' he said ' Try lying on the edge of your bed, you'll soon drop off' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob_Mitchell Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 I went to the doctor the other day. I said 'with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep'' he said ' Try lying on the edge of your bed, you'll soon drop off' tumble weed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoboblio Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 I got in a taxi and said "Driver, King Arthur's close". He said "Don't worry, I'll lose him at the next set of traffic lights". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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