cobrastang Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 An Australian bricklayers Accident report. Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure..... Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed the work,I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and lay watching the barrel begin its journey back down to me,this explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragraph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Dear Sir, ...... I hope this answers your inquiry. Yours, Buster. P.S. I enclose a film of the accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobrastang Posted February 21, 2010 Author Share Posted February 21, 2010 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragraph Its just cut and pasted from an old email I found while clearing my ebox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andy_H Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 thats the funniest thing iv read in ages! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 thats the funniest thing iv read in ages! and the last thing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobD Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 10 posts in and he's outttaaa here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 and the last thing... :)Who what where ? That was damned quick sirrah. Reminds me of old Bagshot getting a bad one up the Umbongo. One minute he was flicking flies off his elephant, the next he was gone. Gone I tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 :)Who what where ? That was damned quick sirrah. Reminds me of old Bagshot getting a bad one up the Umbongo. One minute he was flicking flies off his elephant, the next he was gone. Gone I tell you. I can't take all the credit, but I will JB sanctioned and carried out the hit. The chap in question looked (and even smelt) like a spammer and the boss didn't like the cut of his jib. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Isnt that just 'Murphys bricks'? And good work mod team, alpha team strike force clearly still have what it takes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 thats the funniest thing iv read in ages! bye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiceRocket Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Maybe the funniest thing I'll never read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andy_H Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 my my you guys are brutal! like a bunch of trigger happy cowboys lol. After a small miss understanding i am no longer banned. woohoo, think ill pop over to the newbie section and hang there for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 my my you guys are brutal! like a bunch of trigger happy cowboys lol. After a small miss understanding i am no longer banned. woohoo, think ill pop over to the newbie section and hang there for a while. Good idea, try to stay away from the "post" button for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 I can't take all the credit, but I will JB sanctioned and carried out the hit. The chap in question looked (and even smelt) like a spammer and the boss didn't like the cut of his jib. And it wasn't me either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 :)Who what where ? That was damned quick sirrah. Reminds me of old Bagshot getting a bad one up the Umbongo. One minute he was flicking flies off his elephant, the next he was gone. Gone I tell you.... ....Only to re-appear again after said elephant let out the most stupendous fart. I hadn't heard an explosion like that since the Somme. A most curious affair...old Bagshot could never look an elephant in the eye again without his handlebars quivering uncontrollably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 ....Only to re-appear again after said elephant let out the most stupendous fart. I hadn't heard an explosion like that since the Somme. A most curious affair...old Bagshot could never look an elephant in the eye again without his handlebars quivering uncontrollably. A laughing smilie placed all by itself is frankly a bit lame, however I want you to know I like the tale and hopefully normal font size will be resumed shortly.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 This was also 'busted' on Mythbusters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Isnt that just 'Murphys bricks'? And good work mod team, alpha team strike force clearly still have what it takes According to Snopes, that story dates back to the 1930's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 According to Snopes, that story dates back to the 1930's. A repost predating not only the internet, but most calculators too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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