long distance relationships.

[RiceRocket]

Plenty more fish in the sea, as they say, but with modern fishing techniques, that's not so strictly true. (courtesy of TV Burp)

 

Nice lift

[Lbm]

It's the short distance ones that normally trouble me.

[Abz]

Met my fiancee nearly 6 years ago when I went to a car show in Hull. She never went to the show but I was introduced by a friend who knew her & asked if she could go because one of my mates bailed out & I knew no one & didn't fancy going on my own. She came & met me (along with her sister). I was told she was quite good looking but she was 16 & I was 19, an was thinking she might be a bit young for me (don't laugh).

 

Anyway met her & it was pretty much love at first sight, though after getting to know her realised she is the one for me. We lived 150 miles apart (London to Chesterfield) but luckily at a young age I had a decent job so could see once a week/fortnight.

 

If you think you love him enough & he is pretty special to you then I'd say stick it out. Their are plenty of single people out there & if your young then you are pretty much spoilt for choice! If you want to take steps further & your serious then you should get closer. I find the long distance relationship for me at a young age helped, we both learned off each other & grew up living our own lives (I had a lot of responsibilities & loads of work, so not having a nagging GF was great!). If she really wanted to see me then I'd just drive up & see her, the journey's were sometimes a mission but I loved it!

 

We are now getting married in June, even though living in London & going out with friends I met loads of girls & I could have saved myself all that money & time with going out with one of them... Would I ever change her? Hell no, she is the best thing that ever happened to me (minus the Supra, don't worry she knows)

[ClaireRZ-S]

Thanks lads but i just didnt see the relationship going any further than it was and that sickens me .

[JamesArup]

I lived in Madrid with my girlfriend for 2 years, but I was made redundant in November 2008. I stayed there for 6 months (being a bum) before getting a job back in the UK and moving home.

 

She is still working in Madrid now (she's Italian), but hoping to get a transfer to the UK office within the next month...I can't wait. I phone her everyday and we speak all day long on MSN at work, so things are ok. We don't see each other as often as we would like because it just gets far too expensive. There are the obvious ups and downs, but no more than any other 'normal' relationship.

 

I guess if both parties are willing to make it work, and there is some degree of patience in terms of finding a solution, then it will all be fine.

 

Cheers, J

[kill1308]

I think you just have to both really sit down and weigh up the pros and cons of a long distance relationship. I know a few people that have tried to make it work, and in the short term it often does... but travelling all the time to see each other eventually took it's toll... one weekend without each other due to money or tiredness eventually led to two weekends without each other etc and they slowly fizzled out. I'm sure that some people can make it work, but your heart really has to be in it right from the beginning, if there are already doubts there then that's a bit worrying.

 

You will have a gut feeling in your heart so I'm thinking you already know the answer to this question yourself... just go with your instinct.

[JS2004]

As echoed above really it depends how far each person is willing to go.

 

A 3 hour drive isnt that bad, you have the options of long weekends or even the odd day here and there. Had you both ever sat down and really discussed the distances and potential ways around it (such as moving closer)?

 

I met a girl 6 years ago who lives in New Mexico - really wish that was just 3 hours away. keeping up levels of contact and talking as much as possible helps but doesnt make the distance go away - weve had lots of discussions involving me moving there, or her moving here. She is working on a PhD in Earth Science so she couldnt move right now, but its promising as she has been in discussions with BP about a possible job in London.

 

If you both feel commited enough then try and do something about the distance - in comparison to some of the guys relationships here 3 hours isnt that much of a barrier.

 

Hope it works out - but if not then goodluck finding the one

[stevie_b]

Thanks lads but i just didnt see the relationship going any further than it was and that sickens me .

 

This post sums it up I think. The distance is a secondary consideration: maybe it contributed to the problems, maybe it didn't, but if it's not working out then you're better off elsewhere. It hurts at the time, for sure.

[Matt H]

Long distance relationships rarely work out.

 

It's hardly a relationship if you rarely see each other.

[Krister]

My gf and I had been long distance (Australia - Finland) for 2 years before I moved to London, and we're now not-as-long distance It works because we make it work.

 

Yeah, and I've been taking good care of her while you are gone.

[tbourner]

This subject fascinates me. I've posted before about my doubts that we can find the 'love of our lives', or 'total soulmate' etc within our immediate geographical area, or immediate social area.

 

I don't think there's only one. I think the human species is designed to desire relationships with a variety of lovers, falling in love easily.

This means there is likely a potential soul mate for you around every corner. It also means there is a potential affair trying to entice you regularly!!

We were talking about it with friends at the weekend, the 2 couples aren't what we would say are our ideal partners, but we've been together 7 years now and married for 1, and they've been together the same with a 15 month old son. There's love even though we wouldn't have been matched by eHarmony.

[DanGX]

If I may add my two cents on the subject, I think it basically comes down to gut feeling. Is the guy worth it. Long distance relationships are a lot more common these days than people think. Long live the internet. Some would say that 3 hours is nothing. It depends whether you can tolerate it and again, whether the guy is worth it. I've been going out with my crazy knife wielding girlfriend for v11 () years now and it takes me a moderate 2 hours to get to her. I see her every other weekend and we talk for at least an hour every night ./deep sigh.

 

In the grand scheme of things, 3 hours isn't that far if he's worth it. If he's worth it, then by all rights it will be a short term thing as you'll eventually move in together, get married, get up the duff, etc. If he's not worth it and your gut feeling is telling you something isn't quite right, then walk away before you're stuck together for the sake of it just being a comfortable relationship.

 

Thats my thoughts.