Ewen Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I was approached by a young, well dressed chap I didn't know at Southampton boat show. 'Hello, are you Ewen ?' the chap asked. 'Yes' said I, 'how can I help you ?' I asked. 'I'm the new ***** ********, extremely pleased to meet you at last' he gushed. 'Ah' I replied, 'thank god we've got a new one...the old one was a complete prat...totally out of his depth. He was only here a few weeks but totally f*****d everything up. You have quite a job on your hands to put right the mess he made. When do you start ?' 'I started six weeks ago' he replied, then straightened his tie and walked off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jk136 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I was once watching a rugby match on TV with my old man and my ex. I walked out of the room for a few seconds to get a drink, then suddenly heard a loud cheer come from the living room...I dashed back in and asked what had happened to which my ex replied 'Wales just scored!' I said, 'who was it?' She said 'that fella called Cymru'. I didnt have the heart to tell her that Cymru was welsh for Wales! My own personal favourite was talking to one of my mates 'girlfriends' and saying - I recognise you from somewhere....Ive come across your face before. I didnt realise what I said at first...but it left my mates in stitches!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S44M KT Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 the mrs asked how come she has never seen a steak walking round a field thinking that steak came from an animal called a steak, and my worst one is saying " I'd knob you my pretty" to a blonde wpc during an interview. SHAMED! Thanks babe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinboy Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Watching one of my students stuffing mars bars all afternoon when teaching I said - 'what's up with you fella, you got an eating disorder or are you addicted to chocolate?'. To which he responded 'actually justin I'm diabetic and am trying to get my blood sugar back up'. That's in front of fifty people. Imagine how embarrased I was when three of the fifty came to me after class and compained about the eating disorder comment. I should really keep my mouth shut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky7ine Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I was at a local fair with my sis, we were at a burger van getting some food and she ordered corn on the cob, when the guy handed it over she looked at the bloke slightly confused and asked " wheres the cob and can i have a wholemeal one" at that point me and her partner were on the floor crying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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