Charlotte Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Come one come all, bring your embarrassing thoughts that you accidentally said out loud. Mine:- "The moon is only 26 miles away isn't it". I have no idea where the 26 came from. *shame* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevins Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 the mrs asked how come she has never seen a steak walking round a field thinking that steak came from an animal called a steak, and my worst one is saying " I'd knob you my pretty" to a blonde wpc during an interview. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animal Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 saying " I'd knob you my pretty" to a blonde wpc during an interview. Love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevins Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 best part was that she wrote it down aswell lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronttuk Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 mine was "i bet shes a new member" when a rather large lady walked in front of me at a gym !! i was asked to leave!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevins Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 mine was "i bet shes a new member" when a rather large lady walked in front of me at a gym !! i was asked to leave!! hahahaha lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian W Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 mine was "i bet shes a new member" when a rather large lady walked in front of me at a gym !! i was asked to leave!! I once said "sure this isn't a tent shop?" when walking through a section for the larger lady in a well known department store. Thing was, it was pretty busy....with 'larger ladies' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevins Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 blonde moment for my sis was when i was changing a light fitting in her house, so I had the power off and heard a voice shouting to me from the toilet asking if the flush will work with the power off and another time she asked me if i put the hand brake on when we were on a boating holiday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 another time she asked me if i put the hand brake on when we were on a boating holiday. I just fell in love with your sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevins Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I just fell in love with your sister! shes thick lol shes so dumb I had her searching my garage for a left handed spanner in my garage for half an hour as i was bored waiting for parts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meko Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 years ago a bloke at work said that his mother-in-law had died, she was 94 and had had a good innings; without thinking i blurted out that she shouldn't have been playing cricket at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erol_h Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Whilst i was at work repairing a fridge i farted not thinking much about it, but to my suprise it was loud and the customer was beside me i just blames the fridge saying there was still some trapped gas in the pipework. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbleapple Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Girlfriend with a degree in History informed me that D Day was in WW1 and when I asked her if she knew who Churchill was she proudly confirmed that she did.... he was a nodding dog. Mine must be when I asked if it was ok to put copper grease on car breaks to stop them squeaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westcoaster Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Not mine, but my (blonde) little sister's, when eating Sunday dinner at her house: "What kind of bird is chicken?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 When I worked at a garden nurserie when in college my main job was to carry bags of stuff out to old biddys cars. Everyone that worked there had a walkie talkie. One day one of the young girls on the tills got on the walkie talkie and said something like 'Edd can you come to the tills please' to which I politly replied 'F**k off Jenny'! I have no idea why I said, it just came out, I liked Jenny! Every other worker heard it, including the boss, and so did most of the customers at the tills, whoops! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animal Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 A few weeks ago at work, we'd had a new girl start and she was sat opposite the kitchen so you were facing her when making a brew. She's a big lass and was wearing the least flattering open-neck blouse possible. I'd been having a bad day so I made a brew and walked onto the first floor landing to have a smoke and said to myself "Fuck's sake, cover your baps up, you fucking fat moose" I carried on down the steps to find one of our chinese graduate engineers at the bottom, on the phone. Not sure if he heard me, or indeed understood my broad Lancashire mumblings, but nothing's been said about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiceRocket Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Some great "confessions" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin J Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 shes thick lol shes so dumb I had her searching my garage for a left handed spanner in my garage for half an hour as i was bored waiting for parts Hahaha, that's great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 i was at my mates house 1 time and his sister came home, anyway i had just returned from new york and she comes in and asked me "house was paris?" so i says "i went new york not paris" and then she says "yeah, new york is in paris" at this point i fell off the bed with laughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I was once doing some DIY work with my Dad, repairing a pathway with a mix of sand, gravel and cement. When we had finished, he stood up, looked at our work and said "There you go - That'll be like concrete when that dries". We looked at each other for a few seconds before falling about laughing. A mate of mine asked in all seriousness what breed of dog they used on 101 Dalmatians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stupra Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I was with a group of mate's one evening and asked what time the local seven eleven closed . Once in a pub with a mate we got talking to this girl, as the conversation went on she mentioned her Dad's name, my mate turned around and said "Wow, small world, I know your Dad", the girl said "do you ?," and my mate said, "yeah, so how longs he been your Dad then ?". The girl and myself pi$$ed ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 this quote was from one young lad at my cafe he was with four other lads all about 15 the other three ordered bacon rolls when this lad said "whats in a bacon roll then mate " the other three made him feel 1 inch tall i psml Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 The wife and I were driving along the M1, just as I was slowly overtaking a lorry, she looked over to me and said "is that one of those dangerous lorries you always hear about in accidents on the motorway?", I replied "what do you mean?", she replied "a jack knife lorry" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 One from my old boss, who has a habbit of opening his mouth before thinking.. He spotted a old lady friend he'd not seen for a couple of years in the high steet so went over to have a chat. Just before he headed off, he said "oh, and congratulations, when's it due?" pointing at her rather large stomach. "I'm not pregnant, just fat" was here response, then promptly burst into tears. So, trying to make amends, he makes his appolgies and disapears off. Apart from his gaffs he's a geuinely nice fella so went off to a nearby flower shop, purchased a non-to-cheap bunch and went back to say sorry again. She was still a bit upset. A moment later her (huge and annoyed looking) husband turned up demanding to know why this stranger was giving his obviously upset new wife a bunch of flowers.. which the boss then had to explain... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 "F#ck me, you're a bit of a c*nt" Said to one of my old bosses when she joined the dept and tried to act as if the sun shines out of her erse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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