RedM Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Am I the only who feels close to violence when they hear people say "...going forward"? It's crap. It means nothing and just because some corporate dullard once used it at a seminar doesn't mean the rest of the zombies have to use it. Even The Guardian banned it's writers from using the phrase. Anyhoo, on a related note, does anyone have any ideas for comedic business b*llocks? I've come up with this one for new ideas and I'm going to use it tomorrow if the opportunity arise. "Great idea Bob. Now let's put some slicks on this baby and see how it takes the twisties." I think that works. I'll probably even get a promotion out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter richards Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 nobody will know what your talking about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Can we take this offline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 "Create an ideas raft and see if it floats" was one that made me laugh inappropriately during a sales meeting once Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 I think you need to sack your 'comedy' writers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 "Create an ideas raft and see if it floats" was one that made me laugh inappropriately during a sales meeting once hahaha that's brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 My boss "Touches base" every now and then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guigsy Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 i hate the term "liase" just say "talk with" like a normal person :S I dont want to "liase with bob" i want to talk to him. what a useless word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pot Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 "Create an ideas raft and see if it floats" was one that made me laugh inappropriately during a sales meeting once You must be joking? Someone actually thought it was a good idea to say that, and they still have a job?... I can't stand all of that corporate crap, when people mention blue sky thinking, I just think of how much they'll get when I run up and kick them up the ass... However, worse than the slogans has to be people that say 'Basically', and 'Obviously', as the start of every sentence, and the person who decides to reply to your e-mail, but also copies in half the company (I'm not on about pr0n mails ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Yeah, my old sales manager at Renault Better still was the memo that went around an old company with the phrase "....so that we may better synergise our efficiencies" I believe the guy must have sat for hours to get that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Low hanging fruit is my least fav, loads of them here, grrrrrrrrrrr http://www.squidoo.com/businesscliches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I've come up with this one for new ideas and I'm going to use it tomorrow if the opportunity arise. "Great idea Bob. Now let's put some slicks on this baby and see how it takes the twisties." I think that works. I'll probably even get a promotion out of it.Nice one! You should definitely run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it. At work today one of the IT security specialist guys, a really decent and smart Polish guy called Sebastian, came to my boss with a suggestion we could try to solve a major problem we were having at the time. My boss said to him "I want you to take that and run with it." Seb looked really offended. I had to intervene and explain to Seb that my boss wasn't telling him to fuck off and actually thought it was a good idea. It seems that Bullshit business-speak doesn't translate very well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pot Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Low hanging fruit is my least fav, loads of them here, grrrrrrrrrrr http://www.squidoo.com/businesscliches I've forwarded that to my work mail, although I hate 'that speak', I think I can have some fun with my Swiss overlords Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I know a man who always finishes every other sentence with "In that way there..." or "In that time there..." So for instance Him: "Yes, I took the wife and kids down to Cornwall, in that way there..." Me *thinking* In what way where?" Him: "We drove down, with a couple of stops, one at a Little Chef, in that time there..." Me *thinking* In what time, where? It drives me up the wall, and it's even more frustrating when you know it's coming, but not exactly sure, and then you find yourself willing him to do it...I still like him, but dear god it's annoying - in that way there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozz Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Am I the only who feels close to violence when they hear people say "...going forward"? It's crap. It means nothing and just because some corporate dullard once used it at a seminar doesn't mean the rest of the zombies have to use it. Even The Guardian banned it's writers from using the phrase. Anyhoo, on a related note, does anyone have any ideas for comedic business b*llocks? I've come up with this one for new ideas and I'm going to use it tomorrow if the opportunity arise. "Great idea Bob. Now let's put some slicks on this baby and see how it takes the twisties." I think that works. I'll probably even get a promotion out of it. They use a similar phrase in Canada, in many of my meeting ssomeone references putting rubber down or even something wierd about pedalling bicycles with no traction when discussing projects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyb10supra Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Some irritating ones ive heard *Blue sky thinking *Lets not let the grass grow on this *I want to make sure we are all singing from the same song sheet *Helicopter view And my most hated one....im just letting you know in advance so its on your radar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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