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Best joke ever Redux


RedM

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It's been on the forum before but searches aren't bringing it up. I found it on an old forum I used to frequent (the 20,000 post keyboard warrior forum).

 

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I'll know them."

 

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff.

 

"OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

 

"No problem, boss. Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it."

 

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door. Tom Cruise opens it shouts, "Dave! What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

 

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Tom's house he tells Dave that he thinks knowing Cruise was just luck.

 

"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.

 

"President Obama" his boss quickly retorts.

 

"Easy" Dave says, "We're old buddies, let's fly out to Washington."

 

Off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

 

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

 

"The Pope," his boss replies.

 

"Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

 

So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

 

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

 

Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"

 

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said...

 

"Who the f*ck is that on the balcony with Dave?"

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