Tee from China Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 A beautiful teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. She asked, 'Boy, what is your problem?' The boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!' The teacher had had enough. She took the boy to the principal's office. While the boy waited in the outer office, she explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told her he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the First-grade and behave. She agreed. The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: ‘What's 3 times 3?' Boy: '9'. Principal: 'What's 6 times 6?' Boy: '36'. And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at teacher and tells her, 'I think the boy can go to the 4th grade.' The teacher says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him? The principal and boy both agreed. She asks, 'what does a cow have four of that I have only two of'? Boy, after a moment 'Legs.' Teacher: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?' Boy: 'Pockets.' Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, tastes delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubblegum Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy: Wedding Ring Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Boy: Nose Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy: Arrow Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Fire truck Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand. Boy: Fork Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy: Surname. Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, and is responsible for making love? Boy: Heart. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, ‘Send this Boy to Harvard, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!' 'Happiness isn't something you experience; It's something you remember.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 What a waste of my time that was!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ric Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 What a waste of my time that was!! x2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 x2 x3:blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 x3:blink: x4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I thought it was quite good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tee from China Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 I thought it was quite good! me too! some people must have lost their sense of humour in the credit crunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozz Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I thought it was clever but unless I'm being thick I don't understand the ending. I assumed it would be some reference that his childish answers meant he was not developed enough to handle the fourth grade. Meh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I thought it was clever but unless I'm being thick I don't understand the ending. I assumed it would be some reference that his childish answers meant he was not developed enough to handle the fourth grade. Meh. Thats why i felt robbed, i read to the end expecting a witty punchline, i even scrolled down in blind hope to see if there was a 2nd reply with the punchline... nothing. Its linguistically cunning but would only be considered humorous, on my part, if i was being told it as a true story. Vodka drinking inuendo filled teachers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 The kid wasn't thinking in a sexual manner, so he gave the teacher the correct answers, however the headteacher WAS thinking sexually, so didn't get the 'correct' answer, instead he got the rude ones! Like the rest of us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 That kid's obviously not old enough mentally to be in the 4th grade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 priceless. But in my case I disagree with the pink bit. Love the heart one. there could have so easily been a porn version of this joke. Where the teacher gets more involved. Still it was very good. R.e. The punchline, they were littered throughout, so the end was just a calm philosophical statement. Ten out of ten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 priceless. But in my case I disagree with the pink bit. Love the heart one. there could have so easily been a porn version of this joke. Where the teacher gets more involved. Still it was very good. R.e. The punchline, they were littered throughout, so the end was just a calm philosophical statement. Ten out of ten. I rest my case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I once made a mental note to never again read a 'joke' (or any post for that matter) written by Tee From China. Although I forgot this time I am pleased to note that I wasn't wrong previously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesy Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 The fact this 'joke' needs constant explaning kinda tells me its pony!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Why should the boy have been sent to me?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Massey Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 The fact this 'joke' needs constant explaning kinda tells me its pony!!!!!! Or the fact that carl_s understands it and agrees with it:blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tee from China Posted August 8, 2009 Author Share Posted August 8, 2009 I once made a mental note to never again read a 'joke' (or any post for that matter) written by Tee From China. So sad that you may in fact miss something - your loss not mine! and I promise to return the favour:innocent: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I think the teacher missed out a question though. Teacher: "What is long, hard, and full of seamen? " Boy: "An ejaculating penis? I was going to say submarine, but I thought f**k this, let's hit the fourth grade already." Maybe that was the punchline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tee from China Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 I think the teacher missed out a question though. Teacher: "What is long, hard, and full of seamen? " Boy: "An ejaculating penis? I was going to say submarine, but I thought f**k this, let's hit the fourth grade already." Maybe that was the punchline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dayosupra Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 That Joke was absolutly pointless:search: 5 mins of my life ill never get back:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tee from China Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 That Joke was absolutly pointless:search: 5 mins of my life ill never get back:( you want jokes to have a point? why? wasnt pointless just that you missed it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aweegin Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Why should the boy have been sent to me?? Its linguistically cunning but would only be considered humorous... Cunning linguist??!! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Teacher: "What is long, hard, and full of seamen? " Boy: "An ejaculating penis? I was going to say submarine, but I thought f**k this, let's hit the fourth grade already." Thread saved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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