martini Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I'm 29 next month. Same age as my girlfriend (29). Women are usually more mature than men the same age, so my 29 year old girlfriend seems really well balanced and all-around wise to me (25 years old). My last relationship was a bit of a pain in the arse in the end, but had some good moments. I am more happy now than I ever have been in a relationship and that's down to my excellent girl. I hope you get things sorted. I would, personally, have a quiet word with her during a calm moment (whilst watching TV). I do agree, that family is always family and will always be - whereas a partner is not permanent. However, I also think people need to say how they feel, otherwise, you'll just end up not being yourself - and that ain't fun. As for the OP's dilemma, I'd suggest letting your gf know that you're there for her if she wants to talk about it, but let her come to you, don't wade in with guns blazing, tempting as that is. Nice advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Kill it with fire. HTH. Isn't that the mantra Cpl Hicks and Lt Ripley adopted in the Aliens films? That didn't work either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Without delving too much into it her mum cheated on her dad for about 6 years with the guy her mum is seeing at the moment. The rest of the family only think they have been together since her mum and dad split but the GF has known the whole time and has been told by her mother to keep it quiet. GF and her mum fell out a few years ago, resulting in my GF moving out at 18. Her mum then did her best to turn her side of the family against her. GF kept quite about her mothers affair and just took the grief because "she's my mum". The more spiteful side of some people might suggest that someone confronts the "mother-in-law" and tell her to buck her ideas up or it would be a crying shame if her adultery were to become public knowledge. Nobody, male or female, should be allowed to get away with ruling with an iron fist in that manner. The question is not WHETHER anyone should stand up to her, but WHO should do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 It's a tough one. I'd talk it through with the GF, let her know you're there for her and on her side. The 'mother in law' is being like a spoilt teenage brat, and if what she said about your GF being a mistake, etc, then she is WAY out of line and doesn't derserve the thoughtfulness of your GF. She should take the presents back, and use the money to buy herself something nice. Maybe you could take her out to make her feel better too? I know family is family, BUT, I can't imagine anyone's mum being like that to their child. I love my mum to pieces and I KNOW she loves me more. Family is close because of the unconditional love. You're GF's mum blatantly doesn't give you GF the love and comfort a mother sould, so IMO your GF mum is NOT her mother, just someone wo she grew up with. Her mother is ungrateful, selfish and repulsive IMO, and doesn't deserve the love of your GF. Your GF says, "Yes, but she's my mum." But she's being used and walked all over, and needs to open her eyes. It's disgusting, and I can imagine how much you want to say or do something, but unfortunately, it's not your place... Not until something extreme happens, then I'd step in and tell her she's out of line, BUT, you HAVE to know that your GF won't hate you for interfering, which is why you NEED to talk it through with her, and let her know that you will say/do something if it doesn't stop. Be careful mate, it's a mine field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Slap her mum for being a cow then slap your bird for being soft. Women. If they didn't exist you wouldn't bloody invent them eh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Slap her mum for being a cow then slap your bird for being soft. Women. If they didn't exist you wouldn't bloody invent them eh! then slap your bird again for wasting my time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Kill it with fire. HTH. Sounds Fair.. What a B1tch.. ps Don't listen to LBM.. do it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 Thanks guys for all of the advice. A lot of it makes sense and all suggestions have been noted lol Think I'll have a word with the GF along the lines of, if she says something when I'm there just give me the nod and I'll say something back. I dont want to have a go but maybe point a few things out to her that she seems to have forgotten, namely that she is a mum and to act like one. Stop trying to act like a teenage "best friend". Both of them suffer from "it's my way or the highway" way of looking at things, so I guess I'll sit back and act if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 They always say that you should look to the mother to see what your other half will be like to live with in the future, maybe this is a warning... PS: Fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 They always say that you should look to the mother to see what your other half will be like to live with in the future, maybe this is a warning... PS: Fire. Dually noted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 They always say that you should look to the mother to see what your other half will be like to live with in the future, maybe this is a warning... PS: Fire. Was just going to post that. It's genetic, take heed. People take more care over the pedigree of their cat than their future wife. Vet the family, think carefully. Contentious, but I am serious, don't underestimate genetic influence on character. I'll get my coat, thanks for having me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 They always say that you should look to the mother to see what your other half will be like to live with in the future, maybe this is a warning... PS: Fire. Not always, my mum treated me like dirt from the age of 9 when my parents seperated. She did countless cruel things and because of the way she treated me i would never treat anyone else the same as i know how much it hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Was just going to post that. It's genetic, take heed. People take more care over the pedigree of their cat than their future wife. Vet the family, think carefully. Contentious, but I am serious, don't underestimate genetic influence on character. I'll get my coat, thanks for having me... Rubbish. My mum is a lady wot lunches and I'm deffo not like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 OK this could clinch it.... Her mum thinks the Supra is "A silly car and a waste of money" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Her mum thinks the Supra is "A silly car and a waste of money" She's probably right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 OK this could clinch it.... Her mum thinks the Supra is "A silly car and a waste of money" She's not entirely daft then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Rubbish. My mum is a lady wot lunches and I'm deffo not like that. Not yet.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Not yet.... I wouldn't mind her lifestyle if I'm honest..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 Lol point taken. Maybe I should follow her advice and get a nice Mondeo er I mean Jag like her BF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I wouldn't mind her lifestyle if I'm honest..... Quod erat demonstrandum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Don't get involved mate. My wife argues with her mum and sister all the time, though one time it got quite vicious so I stepped in to be a mediator. All parties then turned on me, even though I had nothing to do with the grievance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 are you sure you are not dating the mom, and that somehow the lines got crossed? even if you aren't, look for milf opportunties as she looks likes she wants a piece of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Quod erat demonstrandum! Fatalis ab initio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 All parties then turned on me, even though I had nothing to do with the grievance. I have no idea why but that just made me LOL. I can imagine that happening with my sister and mum with our respective other halves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendor Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Fatalis ab initio similis matris similis filia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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