martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 OK guys gonna pick your brains for this dilemma. My girlfirends mother is a "questionable" character shall we say, but this really takes the michael! She went on holiday recently (didn't tell my GF she was going until she was at the airport about to leave) and was due to come back a few days before her birthday (today). So my GF decides to get her some birthday presents, think she spent about £20-£30. GF doesnt have much money to spare what with recently moving so this was quite a lot for her to spend on presents. She rings her mum on Monday to ask her if she'd like to come over for a birthday meal. Got told "No I'm expecting my boyfriend to take me out", which is fair enough. Then the GF asks about which day would be best to take her presents over an is told "Take them back and get your money back, I don't want them cos I bought some perfume for £40 on holiday, you can give me the money for it" I thought this was a bit out of order, but my GF decided to take the presents over anyway as she thought her mum would like them, explained that she couldn't afford to give her mum the £40 for the perfume and was simply told "I dont want them, take them back, get a refund and get me something else" I'm really unsure as to whether to stay out of this or get involved. Personally I think her mum is being an ungrateful b*tch and acting more like a brattish teenager rather than a parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I would try not get involved as it'll only cause more hassle (IMO of course). I agree with your sentiments though - quite harsh and ungrateful is how it seems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I'd keep out of it. It's upsetting when your other half gets treated like cr*p by a family member but from experience it's better to just be supportive and try to remain impartial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Give me the presents and tell the ungrateful bitch to fook off..!! Next year, don't get her anything.... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Give me the presents and tell the ungrateful bitch to fook off..!! Next year, don't get her anything.... H. The sexy underwear may not fit you H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Raven Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 There is only so long you will be able to stay out of it. However saying something depends on how long you and your g/f have been seeing each other, and if your g/f is as upset as you. If its not very long and or she isnt bothered by the cows rudeness then leave well alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 The sexy underwear may not fit you H Ewww why would anyone buy their mum sexy underwear? lol Mind you if she did her mum is "a size" I've told the GF to take back the presents, get a refund, go to Asda and buy her mum a Mars Bar! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 There is only so long you will be able to stay out of it. However saying something depends on how long you and your g/f have been seeing each other, and if your g/f is as upset as you. If its not very long and or she isnt bothered by the cows rudeness then leave well alone. Been about 6 months and the GF was in tears about it. I've actually heard some of the stuff her mum has said to her and not a fan once you here the whole "Having you ruined my life" and "I i wish it was just me and your sister" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martini Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I wouldn't stay out of it. That's utter bullshit. Things like this need to be addressed. This kind of attitude can only have negative effects on your gf further down the line. The mother sounds like a total c**t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Kill it with fire. HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Raven Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Been about 6 months and the GF was in tears about it. I've actually heard some of the stuff her mum has said to her and not a fan once you here the whole "Having you ruined my life" and "I i wish it was just me and your sister" Hmm, well in that case i would first tell your g/f not to bother anymore. Then if the evil cow rings up and get you let her have it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I wouldn't stay out of it. That's utter bullshit. Things like this need to be addressed. This kind of attitude can only have negative effects on your gf further down the line. The mother sounds like a total c**t. The thing is though, whatever happens with partners, families remain for good. If you fall out with them it often has a detrimental affect on the rest of the family and is generally not good. I know you're saying it's better to go in all guns blazing and defend the gf's honour but honestly, she won't thank you for it in the long run. And what of Martin's relationship with the family? That will be destroyed if he decides to say something. You might think that doesn't matter but in the long term it does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 My girlfirends mother is a "questionable" character shall we say, but this really takes the michael! See below. Kill it with fire. HTH. The first instinct in normally the correct one. Don't really set her on fire though as it would seem really bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 tell your girlfriend to let her be, its obvious she doesnt need her. one day she will and will come crying back.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark3 Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Girlfriends mum is a nasty c*** AND keep well out of .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 Good point. I get on really well with her dad and her mums BF. Without delving too much into it her mum cheated on her dad for about 6 years with the guy her mum is seeing at the moment. The rest of the family only think they have been together since her mum and dad split but the GF has known the whole time and has been told by her mother to keep it quiet. GF and her mum fell out a few years ago, resulting in my GF moving out at 18. Her mum then did her best to turn her side of the family against her. GF kept quite about her mothers affair and just took the grief because "she's my mum". Now I know that you only get one mother and at the end of the day family is family, but I really feel something needs to be done here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martini Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 The thing is though, whatever happens with partners, families remain for good. If you fall out with them it often has a detrimental affect on the rest of the family and is generally not good. I know you're saying it's better to go in all guns blazing and defend the gf's honour but honestly, she won't thank you for it in the long run. And what of Martin's relationship with the family? That will be destroyed if he decides to say something. You might think that doesn't matter but in the long term it does. I'm sorry, but the mother sounds like a total bint and I would have words with my girlfriend. I'm not saying I would go straight to the mother and tell her she's an disrespectful person etc... but I would at least tell the GF what I thought. And yes, I would do that if it were me and yes, you're right; it might kill the relationship. But if a relationship can't get through me telling the girlfriend I think she should stand up for herself, that I would help her and that her mum is being crap, then so be it. Now I know that you only get one mother and at the end of the day family is family, but I really feel something needs to be done here. Seriously: you're right. Joking: Send her to Jeremy Kyle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1982 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Share Posted July 15, 2009 Joking: Send her on Jeremy Kyle. Could work! I'd get the day off! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Personally I think her mum is being an ungrateful b*tch and acting more like a brattish teenager rather than a parent. I think so too, seen this before a couple of times with mates. It's as though they get off on being a c**t to their kids? If your GF had given her cash instead of getting her presents then that would be wrong too:) The bottom line is it's her mum, if you stick your oar in too much and her mum gets to know then the pair of them will turn on you, it's a woman thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 The bottom line is it's her mum, if you stick your oar in too much and her mum gets to know then the pair of them will turn on you, it's a woman thing! I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 The thing is though, whatever happens with partners, families remain for good. If you fall out with them it often has a detrimental affect on the rest of the family and is generally not good. I know you're saying it's better to go in all guns blazing and defend the gf's honour but honestly, she won't thank you for it in the long run. And what of Martin's relationship with the family? That will be destroyed if he decides to say something. You might think that doesn't matter but in the long term it does. Good advice there. You are wise beyond your years, young lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fessen Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 You need to be careful mate. If you say something it may backfire on you and your relationship may not be the same afterwards. Hope you get it solved mind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 young lady. I'm 29 next month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellis Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 From my personal experience I'd take two steps backwards mate. Your GF can say what she likes about her mum, she's blood. But if you were to repeat her comments as your own, she'd hit the roof. The rule is, you can say what you like about your own family but woe betide anybody outside of the family who says the same - it's just not done. If you step in it only adds to the aggro your GF already has - let her sort it and watch Top Gear instead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I'm 29 next month. Well, you'll never catch me up! You're only as old as the man you feel. As for the OP's dilemma, I'd suggest letting your gf know that you're there for her if she wants to talk about it, but let her come to you, don't wade in with guns blazing, tempting as that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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