mathew Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 about 6 years ago me and my first love (awwwwwwwwwwww) split. she left me for someone else (even more of an awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww). it was hard to get over at first but i coped and pulled thorough. our relationship had run its course anyway looking back and we were more like best mates. anyway despite living in the same town we have never bumped into each other properly (apart from the time i had an appointment at the GUM clinic and accidentally tried to sign in at the childrens dentist next door where i didnt realise she was the receptionist, but thats another story!) and have a catch up and for me to let her know there are no bad feelings as in all honesty i think i miss her as a friend more than anything. anyway, cue facebook. noticed she signed up to it a few weeks back as she kept popping up my screen as a suggested friend (or the irony...). last weekend after a few beers i sent her a msg, nothing bad just a quick hello and a buddy request. well today she accepted it. but now im thinking was it a good idea afterall? ive got no urge what so ever to try and get into her knickers (shes married with a kid aswell) but do have an urge just to have a good long chat and just generally catch up and have a laugh at the stuff we got up to in the past as we shared the same group of friends. but im thinking she may interpret it as something else as, im ashamed to say, am bit of a sleaze:innocent: and she knows this. anyone else caught up with passed loves and have things gone right or wrong? ....also im banning myself from facebook when im drinking in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 In my opinion, the past should be left in the past, if it was so great it would be the present. She left you for someone else, and i know how that feels but i resisted the temptation to see my ex a few years after she left me. Sometimes it is better to just move on and forget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 It's good. There is getting in touch, and getting in touch. Even better though is to get in touch with yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSK Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 depends on the individuals concerned IMO. Some can get on well or things can be fine in which ever way you want, in other cases it can be asking for trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden1989 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Bad, i try and keep mine at arms length, they are ex's for a reaosn after all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Facebook...................where people was there dirty laundry in public, never understood the whole facebook malarky myself(and I'm only 22) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 Bad, i try and keep mine at arms length, they are ex's for a reaosn after all yeah i know what your saying but its not like i wanna get back with her. we were mates for a while before we started playing hide the sausage and it was a good friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sams Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 depends on the individuals concerned IMO. Some can get on well or things can be fine in which ever way you want, in other cases it can be asking for trouble. i agree with you i do miss my 1st love and it was not till she saw me with a kid she wanted to speak to me again, this was 4 month ago and we been getting on great and catching up, so this is good example, im sure there bad examples Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt k Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 yeah i know what your saying but its not like i wanna get back with her. we were mates for a while before we started playing hide the sausage and it was a good friendship. If you get back in touch you will try and bone her, it's obviously on your mind or else you wouldn't contact her......do it at your own peril!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Agree with DSK, totally depends on who it is. Had the best of both ends of stick in the last year or so, one turned out to (still) be a psycho, but is even fitter than before The other (the one relationship that ended only due to distance and her family - mostly) has been great. We're now great friends (only friends I might add!) and both deeply regret not staying in better touch after it ended. It was such a shame to miss near 10 years of the life of someone you really care about. So, try it and see how it goes, but do it with an open mind. The relationship might not be there anymore, but friendship can mean as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesF Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 If you were with her as bf/gf or best mates as you said, she'll know you and know when you're being sincere. Tell her you want to meet up for a curry and a catch up or something, and actually tell her you're not after chucking it up her and want to be mates? If she's queer with you then forget her. Thing is, 6 years is a long time. Ive met up with people from about 5 years ago and its not the same. You change and you find that they remember you as a different person. Im an entirely different person at 24 than I was at 18. Meet up, whats the worst that can happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kev.O Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 If you get back in touch you will try and bone her, it's obviously on your mind or else you wouldn't contact her......do it at your own peril!! Straight to the point Matt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike17 Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 me and my husband were 'first loves' at 16. we split up for two years then got back in touch and got married 3 years later...the best love story lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 If you were with her as bf/gf or best mates as you said, she'll know you and know when you're being sincere. Tell her you want to meet up for a curry and a catch up or something, and actually tell her you're not after chucking it up her and want to be mates? If she's queer with you then forget her. Thing is, 6 years is a long time. Ive met up with people from about 5 years ago and its not the same. You change and you find that they remember you as a different person. Im an entirely different person at 24 than I was at 18. Meet up, whats the worst that can happen. no,no,no,no this aint gona happen, well not for a while anyway. also i doubt her husband would be happy if she told him she was meeting up with me after hardly even speaking to me for 6 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Ex-wife is the ex, I have no contact with her, don't wish to... chapter closed.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick_karkie Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I dont understand anyone who wants to get back in contact with a person who cheated on them, betrayed them and never tried to contact you since. One harsh lesson I have learnt over the years is that women ALWAYS do something they really want to do. If she wanted to contact you, she would have. If a girl really wants something they go after it, even the shy ones. Men would happily have strong feelings for an ex but never contact them because of self-pride etc.... The old saying is true....."if you love someone, let them go, if they come back to you then they must love you too" I have tried several times in the past to get a gf back and lost my self dignity, but you know what, it never once worked, the only one I ever got back was the one I completely ignored and forgot about. Trying to be friends with her now will just cause problems for her current partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 webcam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martini Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I'm not on facebook... this kind of thing is just not my cuppa tea these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meko Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 i met up with my first love after a ten year gap, went for a drink and i ended up banging her.. We're both 10 years older and still friends and it didn't get in the way of anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Seeing a first love again after a long time can sometimes come as a bit of a shock. I bumped into one of my first girlfriends in a shop just the other week. There's no way I'd get back with her now - she looked dreadful, not at all how I remember her. Then I remembered - it was about 35 years ago I last saw her... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 You said "I'd like a good long chat and generally would like to catch up..." You're a fraud sir! Matt K is quite correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flukey-lukey Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Just bang her and fuck her off like she did to you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt H Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Unless you simply want to step on the good foot and do the bad thing i wouldn't bother. Even that's not great once you've dropped the package, pulled out, wiped and lost all the little naughty hormones that made you want to do it the first place and then you think.. shouldn't have done that. If something hasn't worked in the past there was a reason for it. That reason will still be there now 99% of the time. Don't look back, only forward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
den1 Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 If something hasn't worked in the past there was a reason for it. That reason will still be there now 99% of the time. Don't look back, only forward Wize Words! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbleapple Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 You said "I'd like a good long chat and generally would like to catch up..." You're a fraud sir! Matt K is quite correct. He didn't say what he wanted to catch up on though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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