Muffleman Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 Right, as a follow up to http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=35035, how about airing all those 'foot in mouth' moments I'll get the ball rolling. Whilst still going out with the current Mrs. Muffleman, we were spending the evening at her parents house. Not sure how, but the subject of breast size came up Now both my missus' sisters have funbags far exceeding the 'british standard handful', and the missus said 'well you both must take after mum'. to which I replied ? 'Oh, and you must take after your dad' Er, I actually meant you must have his genes and not that you have a cleavage like a bloke !!! Still haven't lived it down So come on then, let's hear 'em Matt (subtle as a breeze block !) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 "Oh, and you must take after your dad" LMAO!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 God I must have done LOADS, can't think of any... hmmm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitesupraboy2 Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 well think my worst foot in mouth has to be: last new years eve, sat on stairs pissed with mate at house party that his whole family was at. we had popped in, when his mum walks past in her caveman outfit (fancy dress). so i said u know ur mum's quite fit. id give her one...... i didnt know but his dad was stood behind me with his granddad both listening to what i was saying. i got up in morning like nothing had happened said hi etc... when i was told what i done!!! didnt go back round there for 3 months Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRoy Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 "I do" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopite Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 "I do" PMSL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrAngry Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 "I do" Snap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieSteve Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 At work a couple of years back the acountant of 2 days went missing. The bosses misses asked me to drive her to her house to make sure she was ok... turns out she had took an attempted overdose and didn't bother coming back. The bosses misses talked her into coming to hospital and she came ack in my car. On the way some tool threw his door open and jumped out his car just as I was passing him. "ARE YOU BLOODY SUICIDAL?" I shouted just before disapearing up my own arse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazing grace Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 Me too (I do!!!!!!!!)must learn to think before i open my mouth!!pmsl! And a load more like Rosie says but cant think of one off hand?? Regards, Sheena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Harwood Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 I had been going out with Matt for about 3 weeks and we had to go and collect his sister from a local nightclub (I hadn't met any of his family at that point). On the way he said he had to warn me that his sister was lovely but dressed like a complete tart. We sat in the car park waiting with me defending her saying how she couildn't be that bad, when two blonde girls got out of a white Mercedes and I said -Now THAT'S what you call a real tart. Of course Matt replied-no, that's what I call sister! He still married me too! Chantelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoboblio Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 Bit of a bad taste joke I'm afraid but I was very drunk In a nightclub, me and a mate, start talking to two girls on the dancefloor who look quite up for it They came to the bar with us (should've been my first clue that something was wrong). After a few minutes of conversation it turns out that girl #1 had one kid, girl #2 had two. Above all of this they were not really our type But not being complete bastards we thought we stay and talk to them anyway Girl #1: "Most guys run away when we tell them we've got kids" Me: "Most girls run away when we tell them we've got aids....." It seemed like a good joke at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 two blonde girls got out of a white Mercedes and I said -Now THAT'S what you call a real tart. Of course Matt replied-no, that's what I call sister! Gaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 This is gonna keep me amused today I can tell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 Me and my dad were doing some DIY stuff out in the garden one day. We were repairing a path using a mix of cement, sand and gravel. Dad was just finishing up levelling it off, then he stood up, wiped his hands in a "satisfied with the job done" kind of way, and said "There you go, that'll be hard as concrete when that dries". We laughed for about 15 minutes solid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steady_eddie Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 was x-mass 2001 me and my family went to the french alps for a spot of skiing, and my sister said she wanted her best friend to come from australia, so he best friend arived with her big sister intoe a girl i used to go to school with. any ho, my mum thought it would be a good idea to make me and erica (girl from old school) share a room... x-mass eve came and i thought id give her a present of my own., so started getting down and dirty with her, went down and her and she hadnt shaven so i got a mouth full of pubes !!! i said "you could have shaved" havent spoke with her since and the rest of the holiday was very umm tence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 I didn't say this, it was my dearly beloved but it f**king creases me up everytime I think of it so I thought I'd share it. We were watching some daft programme on TV and one of the features was a piece on extreme ironing. Y'know, people up mountains ironing etc. Anyway, some of these extreme ironers were going down a river, through rapids and stuff and she says "This can't be real, where would they get a long enough lead?" I nearly choked on food at that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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