SupraTRD83 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 This is a bit private but its just doing my head in and just wondered if I was being stupid or whether anyone else had the same trouble. Basically me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years now, and for the last 7 months we have been engaged, she said yes obviously 7 months ago and everything is great with us but the trouble is all my friends and family no, my mum wants to throw us a party and things but for the last 7 months she just will not tell her mum or dad or step mum or anyone in her family so for the last 7 months ive been telling my parents to hold back as where not ready to tell anyone yet. Not being funny but its making me look a massive idiot, am i right in saying to her 'if you weren't ready to tell people and everything then you shouldn;t have said yes as your not ready'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kslb Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 How old are you both? do you get on with her family? If she is prepared to make the commitment to get engaged then she should be pleased to tell her family but there may be an underlying reason, maybe she knows it will be met with dissaproval and does not want to face it at the moment. If you are ready to be engaged then you should be able to discuss this and find out why, just saying I am not ready to tell them is not an explanation. Trust is important and this would be my main concern if I were you, it seems there may be a secret still to be revealed. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraTRD83 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 Thats what I was thinking and afraid of, im 25 she is 22 me and her brother have become like best mates, go out together etc. her mum loves me and always invites me out for meals etc and her dad and step mum always ask how i am and want to invite me round even invited me on holiday with them they all love me it doesnt add up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAT Inter Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I would probably shift this into the members secion first of all. As the man said trust is everything in a relationship. I think you really need to sit doewn and talk to her about it and make sure you air your views. At the end of the day being engaged is something that should be celebrated and shared, no kept a secret. Just whatever you do, dont be the big man: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Budz86 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I would probably shift this into the members secion first of all. As the man said trust is everything in a relationship. I think you really need to sit doewn and talk to her about it and make sure you air your views. At the end of the day being engaged is something that should be celebrated and shared, no kept a secret. Just whatever you do, dont be the big man: http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j30/Fraser87uk/Motivational.jpg I doubt he will Fraser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAT Inter Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I know he wont but ive been looking for an excuse to use that pic for a while. Bit of togue in cheek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animal Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I can't understand the mentality of anyone who could beat up their wife. I mean, surely that's like keying your own car or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAT Inter Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I can't understand the mentality of anyone who could beat up their wife. I mean, surely that's like keying your own car or something. I think its maybe a tad worse than that somehow. Its the emotional and psychological effects that remain far after the black eye that are nightmare to repair. However it does work both ways and thats what people forget, guys get the shit kicked out of them as they are too afraid to hit back at the person they love but anyway, BTT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRACIE_LOU Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Hey you! as said above it does seem as if there is an underlying problem, it should be happy occasion from day one and usually the girl is the first one that wants to shout it from the roof tops, as you have said you get on very with her family so it can't be that... is there anything else you can think of? how was she when she said yes in the first place? what was her reason at that point not to tell her lot,? def think a talk is needed. Talking is needed in all relationships to keep them going.. Sorry you are faced with this confusion its not good when you feel in the dark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I can't understand the mentality of anyone who could beat up their wife. I mean, surely that's like keying your own car or something. Only if your car can heal itself over a few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Bizarre wife beating twist. Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way as you? I'd certainly question her if after 7 months she doesn't want to announce you're engaged...does she have a ring on? - maybe it wasn't big enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraTRD83 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 well when she said yes she jumped on me and got all excited never seen her smile so much she text her best friends just wont confront family its really weird. Today we spoke about it and rather than tell them she prefers to put the ring back in its box till shes ready really wish i hadnt asked or told my friends and family, feel a real idiot now. 7 months engaged and none of her family no now where not and all my family and friends think we are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Sorry to hear this chap. Unfortunately it sounds like she's not in to the idea anymore, doesn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraTRD83 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 Sorry to hear this chap. Unfortunately it sounds like she's not in to the idea anymore, doesn't it? Yeah, I was saying to a friend surely if you wanted it that much you'd run through a brick wall to be with someone and she obviosuly doesn't want to even said maybe we should go on a break as its too much pressure with her job and a course she is studying at the moment, doesn't look good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra dan Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 sorry to hear this bud but you must sort it out dont let it drag on and hope it will change. you will get hurt even more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 The other thing is you could say to her that you can clearly sense that it's not working and you need to take the break yourself - Then watch this space... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
far Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 maybe she thinks the parents wont approve? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 maybe she thinks the parents wont approve? Then inspire her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraTRD83 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 If they didn't approve why should it matter so much, the type they are her mum wouldn't care less and she would be happy and her dad I don't think would mind, I will just give her the nice little break she needs and go out round sheffield saturday night and take my mind off it all. Been made redundant so its my last day tommorrow, could do with a break myself i guess at the moment, might be a good idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Good luck with it dude. I'm no expert on this stuff, but maybe have a "cards on the table" chat with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRACIE_LOU Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 If they didn't approve why should it matter so much, the type they are her mum wouldn't care less and she would be happy and her dad I don't think would mind, I will just give her the nice little break she needs and go out round sheffield saturday night and take my mind off it all. Been made redundant so its my last day tommorrow, could do with a break myself i guess at the moment, might be a good idea Orange smartie for ya! you need it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbleapple Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 does she have a ring on? - maybe it wasn't big enough. Your refering to the ring right? Seems to me the original poster has a problem... screwed in fact. Awful thing to say but personally I think you would be best talking to her and agreeing to call off the engagement until a time she is ready.... and then taking your time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriella Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Open Your eyes.. You don't need to talk with her but leave her.. if she will be ready,she will come back to You with Your ring on,if not it will mean that she didn't treat You as seriously as You do! find someone that will wear Your ring with Pride and not feel embarest to tell their familly about that Wonderfull thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Get your ring back! Sell it and buy parts for the Supe! Then cruise round and find a new girl! You know it makes sense! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAT Inter Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 http://www.match.com - For regular love http://www.alt.com - For the Alternative man http://www.friendsreunited.com - Find an ex? Only kidding. Talk to her, talking opens all sorts of doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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