bigcol Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alaing Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 haha this is very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supranature Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Excellent. Whatever happened to Esperanto? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 oops should have been in the off topic section sorry just driven from Caister and im fooked, any kindly mods care to move it then thank you in advance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I found zis joke kervite satisfactory! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Very 'Allo 'Allo. Still, it's better than french. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tee from China Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. Sum peeple ave bean using zis tipe of english four yeers and yeers wizout anee problems wotsoever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Haha that was excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Long live hello hello:D:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Very good, surely a repost though?? H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRACIE_LOU Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 :D lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Very good, surely a repost though?? H. I was thinking that! I've had this joke emailed to me on a few occasions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Excellent. Whatever happened to Esperanto? The BBC canned it because no-one watched it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt H Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Brilliant!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Very good, surely a repost though?? H. Of course. http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=130929 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 The BBC canned it because no-one watched it. That's good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wez Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Thread stocking filler... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Thread stocking filler... Worrying..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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