terribleturner Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 It seems Michael Jackson has sacked his Chinese lawyer stating he could affect the verdict. Mr Poke Um Yung feels Michael is over reacting. ***Sorry if it's repost.*** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 LMAO!!!! I love Michael Jackson jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terribleturner Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Did you know that the Beckhams have invited michael on their ocean liner, Unfortunatly he's gonna be in court, otherwise he would love to cum on their little Cruise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 ROFLMAO!! thats sick!! but very funny Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? ....It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terribleturner Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 LMAO They don't seem to have liked it here at work though? Weirdo's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Michael Jackson Jokes Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !! Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning? A: Throw him a buoy !! Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!! Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together? A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds! Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping? A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians! Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common? A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns! Q:Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael? A:He doesn't mind reaching bottom. Q:What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show? A:The Kids in the Hall. Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"? A: Two 5 year olds. Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his! `Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster? ~The bread goes in brown, and comes out white. `What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision? ~Foreplay. Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue. `What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic? ~Blowing his first nose. Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson? A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi! Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service. Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some entertainment, what shall we do?". To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video". Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin". Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been in trouble for that before" `What's black and comes in little white cans? ~Michael Jackson `What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years? ~Michael Jackson. Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years they'll probably change his name to: The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby Michael Jackson had a boy. He also became a father! He asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years old. `What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common? ~They both play ball in the Minor League. `What's the difference between them? ~One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors. `Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties? ~He was up to a pack a day. `What happens when Michael talks about sex? ~It's all very tongue in cheek. `What does Michael have in common with NASA? ~It's been 25 years since his first moon landing. `What do Michael's ass and an LA jail have in common? ~Both hold the juice. `What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? ~A Michael Jackson slumber party. The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest. `What do Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker have in common? ~Both ride 4 year olds. `How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another album? ~He has a lot of stuff in the can. `What will they call Michael's new TV series? ~Anus and Andy. I understand that Micheal decided to have a boy of his own because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 Million a pop. `Who will Michael record his next album with? ~Les Brown. `What do Michael and Mrs. Perot have in common? ~Both fuck little assholes. `Why does Michael travel with a huge road crew? ~He always has a lot of shit to pack. `Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? ~He's tired of all the cracks. `Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? ~Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson. `Why did Michael go to college? ~To get his Bachelor of Arse degree. `Why's Michael trying out for the NBA? ~He's a crack shooter. `Why's Michael opening a sperm bank? ~He always has a shitload of semen. `Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet? ~Emily Dick in son. `What does Michael call an orgy? ~A fruit salad. `What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist? ~A proctologist doesn't pay for the assholes he's poked around in. `Why doesn't Michael have orgasms? ~The big payoff comes a couple of months later. `Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately? ~He has a lot to plug. `What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy's underpants? ~Michael Jackson's makeup. `Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy bar? ~It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts. Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology": "Spare the rod, and spoil the child." `What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen? ~Got two fives for a ten? `What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter? ~Bring-em Young. `Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John? ~It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me." `Why does Michael Jackson hide for a couple hours after one of his little friends leave? ~It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick. `What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson? ~Michael Jackson has had more noses. `What did Michael Jackson suffer from as a kid? ~Clitoris envy. `Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house? ~He's like the little boy he never had. `Why does Michael really need to go to rehab? ~He's a crack addict. `What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme? ~"Little Boy Blew." `Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35? ~Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old. `How did Michael get in trouble? ~He was feeling a little Randy. `How is Michael dealing with his problems? ~He's holding his own. `How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem? ~They're all standing behind him. `How did Michael actually proposition the little boy? ~It was just a slip of the tongue. `What's sex like for Michael? ~Child's Play. `How is Michael now? ~Feeling a little crotchety. `Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll? ~It comes in a little can. `Why does Michael like children so much? ~He knows how they feel. `How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party? ~By all the Big Wheels in his driveway. `What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Plastic bag? ~One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with and one is used to carry groceries. `Why does Michael own a theme park? ~He's always been into children's shit. `Did you hear Michael Jackson was running a "blue-light" special at a local K-Mart? ~Little boys' pants were half off! `What makes Michael Jackson so unique? ~It's the little boy inside him. `How does Michael like to party? ~He sips a couple of Tall Boys. `What's Michael's favorite snack? ~Slim Jims. `What's Michael's favorite fast food? ~Big Boys. `How do we know Michael is guilty? ~Several children have fingered him. `Why is Michael so tough? ~He can lick any kid on the block. `What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called? ~"The Hand that Robs the Cradle." `How will Michael pay off his old boyfriends? ~Liquefy some assets. `What's the difference between Nixon and Michael Jackson? ~One was a consummate asshole, the other a consummated asshole. Tuck the end of a jacket sleeve into your pants crotch. Hold the jacket off to the side. Then ask, "What's this?" "Dunno." "Michael Jackson helping a kid put his coat on." `What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex? ~"Shit happens!" McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Micheal Jackson Burger"... It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns. `WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HORSE RACING JOCKEY AND MICHAEL JACKSON. ~A JOCKEY CAN MOUNT 3 YEAR OLDS LEGALLY. `WHAT DID MICHAEL JACKSON SAY WHEN HE GOT BACK TO NEVERLAND RANCH FROM DRUG REHAB? ~ YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE A NEW BOY! What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings? 1) There's a sucker born every minute. 2) Kids do the darndest things. 3) Tricks are for kids. `What's Michaels' next movie? ~Honey I Blew the Kid. `What's Michaels' favorite group? ~New Kids on the Cock. `What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common? ~Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands. `What's sex like for Michael? ~Like candy from a baby. `What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from? ~Anal retention. `What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common? ~Both are a pain in the ass to kids. `What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung? ~Michael's been able to have kids. `What's Michael's favorite dish? ~Creamed shrimp. `Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances? ~He wants to spend more time with the kids. `How are Michael's friends like U.S. veterans? ~They all get fucked in the end. `How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search? ~Hire a Catholic priest to do it. `What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael Jackson? ~"The African Queen." `How do we know Michael Jackson isn't really a virgin? ~He's got children out the ass. Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a new video called... "I'll beat it for you." `Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians? ~So he could be black again. `How does Michael Jackson resemble the Cincinatti Reds? ~They're both whiter than they should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 ........ anyway. He does make great music doesn't he Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nic Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 It seems Michael Jackson has sacked his Chinese lawyer stating he could affect the verdict. Mr Poke Um Yung feels Michael is over reacting. What are the odds of that! His other Chinese legal aid, Mr. Cum Ong Sum Yung Gi must be worried Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terribleturner Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 What are the odds of that! His other Chinese legal aid, Mr. Cum Ong Sum Yung Gi must be worried Nice touch Nic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxygene Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Partially nicked from Wayne's World, but here goes: If Michael orders chinese food, whats his favourite dish.? The Cream of Sum Yung Gi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steviekid Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Victoria Beckham has went to the papers claiming she's been having an affair with Michael Jackson. His lawyers are denying this, saying he was in Brooklyn at the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxygene Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Victoria Beckham has went to the papers claiming she's been having an affair with Michael Jackson. His lawyers are denying this, saying he was in Brooklyn at the time Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo these may be going too far!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
250horses Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo these may be going too far!!!! still funny though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
how_supra Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 See below: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifty Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 ROFL PMSL must be sooo hard given the main bits he picked! 50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terribleturner Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 I can't belive there's a picture of him picking his nose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
how_supra Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 I can't belive there's a picture of him picking his nose lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 pmsl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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