bigcol Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 From a Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing From a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so... he is safe. For now............... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edge Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 R.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 oh bum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steady_dave Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Haha, brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminator Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 The dog thing is missing the " Licked my arse - my favorite thing" every 15 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Very, Very good indeed. Is it your own work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 Very, Very good indeed. Is it your own work? no got it via email ages ago just forgot to post it:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordy07 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Very good i like that:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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